


Hateful Garden Boys

by themanwithbigknees (Fabulously_gay_doritos)



Series: Gardens and Gods [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Angst and Drama, Angst with a Happy Ending, Child Abuse, Childhood Friends, Drug Use, Falling In Love, Fantasy, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Lovers to Friends, M/M, Multi, Past Domestic Violence, Social Anxiety, Social Issues, Tags May Change, Touch-Starved, Unhealthy Relationships, Witch Curses, biscoff is baby please love him, its also pretty gay, jaari is a stupid idiot, just once
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-30
Updated: 2019-10-09
Packaged: 2020-09-30 17:23:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 22,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20450798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fabulously_gay_doritos/pseuds/themanwithbigknees
Summary: Jaari felt a warm feeling in his chest, a feeling he thought he knew the name of. This was love, right? The feeling his father felt when he gazed at the baker's daughter? He's seen this before. This boy in front of him... This boy was his damsel in distress! And he was the knight in shining armor!The world made sense and clicked into place for Jaari. Biscoff must be his trusted side-kick, while the father is the dragon. He's read this kind of story before, and he knew how they ended.But before he could end it, he would have to gain his damsel's trust. With the best smile he had in stock, Jaari whispered to the damsel. “Are you alright? You're bleeding."The damsel scoffed and picked a few stray shards out of his skin. "So are you, idiot."~Jaari would do anything to get a hot guy's attention, such as ignoring his first friend, and setting off fireworks in the middle of a busy market. He's a little stupid, but his heart is in the right place.





	1. Home is the forest that loves you

**Author's Note:**

> This story has been in the works for about a year, and I'm so glad to be finally sharing it! I've put my heart and soul into these boys... I hope you love them just as much as I do! 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!

The woods that surrounded his hometown had always been his favorite place to be. The silence was comforting to him and often coaxed him into a dream-like state as he collected berries and nuts for his brother at home. The forest was so much different from home. He understood the forest, understood the wants of the trees and trills of the birds. Other people were so much harder to understand, with their silly things like complex emotions and the ways of the heart. 

Besides- the forest judged your character, not your looks, and Biscoff appreciated that kind of outlook. Who cared if you looked scary if that's what kept you alive, right? Other humans didn't seem to think so. He was often judged for his brutish looks and the constant grime coating his skin no matter how much he scrubbed and picked.

Biscoff always had been intimidating, always the tallest in his age group and body covered with slowly-spreading vitiligo. His hair was oakwood brown and filled with tangles. Even his eyes unsettled the random passerby, with his right eye gray and left eye brown. Dirt loved him more than humans ever had, clinging to him like a second skin, but Biscoff felt more comfortable with at least a bit of dirt on his skin anyway. That was proof that you worked, and that kind of proof was priceless to his father. 

Keeping father happy was Biscoff's job. Of course, keeping the forest happy was also his job, but he was quite good at that. He knew just where to pet the trees, and trees will always happily show their bellies in submission after a good scratch. The rest of the creatures often just followed suit.

He was doing just that when he heard a cry from behind, startling from his thoughts. 

"Monster!" A small form came tumbling at him. He turned to see a little boy with warm tanned skin screeching a battlecry, a wooden sword in his tiny hands. Biscoff stepped out of the little warriors path, and watched silently as the boy catapulted into a berry bush with the ferocity of a thousand suns. 

Biscoff couldn't believe his luck. Another human? A boy his age, at that! There was no way this would go well, not well at all. 

The smaller boy climbed out the bush with sticks poking out of his fluffy chocolate locks of hair, looking up at Biscoff with wide brown eyes full of indescribable emotion. Another person could have identified these emotions, and suddenly Biscoff wished the forest could read people emotions and tell them to him. However, the forest was not feeling very helpful today (as usual), and Biscoff was ultimately left in the dark.

So lost in his thoughts, Biscoff didn't notice the other boy had slowly approached him until the boy was just a breath away, the wooden sword left forgotten in the grass. "What are those?" The boy asked, eyes locked on the nuts and berries Biscoff had been collecting. 

Biscoff, so utterly floored by the fact that a human person was talking to him, just numbly mouthed words he didn't even understand himself. What was he even saying? How long has it been since he's used his voice? 

"Oh! Berries! Can I have one?" Without waiting for an answer, the boy snatched an agur berry right from the top of the little bundle in Biscoff’s arms and plopped it into his mouth, expression brightening with glee. "Oh, these are good! Where did you find them?" 

Biscoff was still stricken by the idea that this human person was talking to him and wasn't scared or anything. The boy might even like him and be his friend! Is this a dream? He must be dreaming. 

Biscoff silently pointed at the bush the boy had fallen into. 

The boy made a grunt of surprise at the sight of the destroyed bush. "Oh. Sorry about that. Thought you were a monster or something and I had to protect the village, you know? But you don't really look like a monster, you're just weird. Nice dodge, by the way! It was really cool!" 

After turning around and heading in some unfamiliar direction, the boy continued speaking. Biscoff honestly didn't understand what was happening, but he followed the rambling boy just because Biscoff didn't know what else to do. 

"Oi, rat boy! You listening?" 

Biscoff tuned back into the one-sided conversation. He gave no sign to indicate that he was listening again, but somehow the boy could tell. 

"Do you have a name? If not, I'll just call you rat boy and that's kind of mean, so I'd rather not, you know?" 

That qualified as mean? Huh. Oh, the boy was staring at him, maybe he should answer. That's what human people did, right? And he's a human people. He should probably act like one. Well, his voice was still rumbly and hoarse from being left unused, but he managed to whisper his name clear enough for the boy to understand. 

Brightening considerably, the boy took another berry. "Cool! I'm Jaari!" Munching on the berries he kept taking from Biscoff's arms, Jaari turned a curious glance around the clearing they had currently found themselves in. "What do you even need all that for?" 

"My brother." Biscoff took the pause in travel as a cue that they were staying in the clearing for a bit and continued to pick agur berries from the nearest bush, careful to keep himself from squishing the delicate fruit as he picked them. 

Confused, Jaari rushed to follow the larger boy. "Why does your brother need them?" With nothing else to really do, Jaari began to pick berries as well, dropping what he grabbed carelessly into Biscoff's little pile.

How could poor Biscoff answer the question when he was so baffled by the boy? No one had helped him before. Is this what he'd been missing all of his life? The forest never told him of this! Never told him of how... 

Right. The question. "I feed my brother." 

Jaari nodded thoughtfully, watching as Biscoff turned away from the bush to pull out a basket, which he tenderly set the berries and nuts he had gathered so far into. "I see... What about your parents? Don't your parents feed you? My dad feeds me lots of things, but never these berries! He always tells me," he stood and mocked what Biscoff assumed to be Jaari's father, swiping berry juice under his nose to mimic a mustache, "Jaari, don't go into the forest! There's scary things that will kill you in there!” 

Jaari crossed his arms, mouth curling into a smirk. “So I brought a sword, just in case, but I think he was lying. No scary things here, just you!" 

A little pang went off in Biscoff's heart. He didn't know what it meant, but he felt warmer than he ever had, so he didn't question it. He didn't know other human people could be so nice. The only nice human person Biscoff knew was his brother, and that was because he got his brother food. 

Whatever the feeling was, he wasn't used to it, and had already begun to associate the strange feeling with Jaari even before they left the forest. Biscoff felt strange while he roamed around collecting berries with the other boy. Almost as if... 

A hole he hadn't known of had been filled. The forest couldn't fill that hole before. Maybe the forest can't do other things either. 

Eventually, they had collected enough, and Jaari was determined to help him bring everything to Biscoff's home. "Your brother needs it, right?" Jaari said, smiling brighter than the setting sun. Biscoff could only nod and lead Jaari in the direction of his home. 

His home was separate from the other homes of the neighborhood, blocked off from sight by dense trees and the surrounding river. Long ago, Biscoff had thought of the river as something new to explore. Over the years, the chilly water had only become a physical barrier to remind him of the mental one, the reason why he still went home each day when all he wanted to do was stay in the forest forever.

The home itself was basic, two stories and colored bright blue. An unnatural eyesore. Usually, Biscoff would wait at the door, contemplating entering and ending the goodness of the day, but Jaari was determined to go in immediately. 

Right as Biscoff twists the doorknob, the clear snap of shattering glass echoes out from a crack in the door. 

"You fucking piece of shit! I better not see you in the kitchen again, you little sniveling weasel, you hear me?!" 

Biscoff heard a soft thump and a groan but didn't move. He could tell Jaari had heard it too, by the way Jaari tried to push past Biscoff and open the door. Biscoff didn't want his new friend getting hurt, so he stood as solid as iron. Jaari understood after a moment and calmed down, but not without curling closer to Biscoff's side, intensifying the warm feeling in Biscoff's chest. 

With renewed strength, Biscoff opened the door. "Papa." 

The entrance was the kitchen, so he didn't spot his father just yet. After setting down the basket on the kitchen table and carefully covering it with sticks to hide its contents, Biscoff led Jaari to the living room. There, his father stood above his brother, who cowered behind the couch. Glass shards covered his brothers body and the floor surrounding him, tiny beads of blood dripping from his scapes onto the ground. 

Jaari was completely enraptured by the sight of Biscoff's brother. Biscoff could practically see the little hearts in his eyes. 

His father brightened at the sight of Biscoff. "Ah, Lille lort, you're back! I see you've brought home a friend? Welcome to the Scarborough residence!" Just as he was about to turn back to Biscoff's brother, the clock opened its mouth and rang the warning bell. "Oh! Lille lort, take care of the boy, it's time I check on your mother again!" After his cold eyes scanned the room once more, he left, footsteps clicking resoundingly up the stairs to the second floor. 

The moment his father left, Jaari scrambled to sit next to Biscoff's brother. He asked question after question as he helped the lanky boy up from the ground and dusted off the shards of glass. Neither Jaari nor the brother paid heed to the cuts they got from the dusting process, both stunned by the sight of the other. His brother was quite good looking after all, just as gorgeous as Jaari was cute. With entrancing eyes and handsome jaw, his brother had always been a sharp contrast from Biscoff's brutish and ugly features. 

Biscoff could tell he was no longer welcome, and moved back to the kitchen to prepare the meal for tonight. 

Meanwhile, Biscoff's brother silenced Jaari with a single bloody finger to the smaller boy's lips, laughing softly despite the empty gaze of his eyes. "Hello," Biscoff's brother whispered, voice hoarse and cracked but nonetheless beautiful, a sharp change from Biscoff's ugly baritone. 

Jaari felt a warm feeling in his chest, a feeling he thought he knew the name of. This was love, right? The feeling his father felt when he gazed at the baker's daughter? He's seen this before. This boy in front of him... This boy was his damsel in distress! And he was the knight in shining armor! 

The world made sense and clicked into place for Jaari. Biscoff must be his trusted side-kick, while the father is the dragon. He's read this kind of story before, and he knew how they ended.

But before he could end it, he would have to gain his damsel's trust. With the best smile he had in stock, Jaari whispered to the damsel. “Are you alright? You're bleeding." 

The damsel scoffed and picked a few stray shards out of his skin. "So are you, idiot." 

"Hey! Don't call me that!" This wasn't going the way it was supposed to, Jaari thought. The damsel wasn't mean! He would have to fix that. "I'm Jaari." 

The taller boy hummed thoughtfully, considering Jaari for a moment. "I see. I'm Nesryn." 

In the other room, Biscoff stared silently into the sink, clutching his chest with trembling fingers as he wondered where the warm feeling went. 


	2. Family is the brother you hold close

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything escalates. Romance begins... And faces its downfall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright gang, this is where the drama really begins. Please take note of the tags, because when I say child abuse, it may not be physical, but... Biscoff's parents suck.

After that fateful day, the three boys happen across each other more often than what could be labeled as chance. Biscoff would tell himself Jaari was seeking his gentle presence and not his brother, but the words he would whisper to himself were never true and he knew it. Nesryn, being the strange boy Biscoff had always known and loved, was cautious around Jaari's awestruck affection, inching away each time Jaari lept a foot closer. But Jaari was confident and dreadfully persistent, and the smaller boy's adorable face and consuming charm eventually warmed Nesryn's careful heart.

Biscoff would watch them giggle together hidden in the forest each day, sometimes exploring and sometimes in each other's arms. He would hide behind familiar tree trunks as the two held hands, danced under the moon, laughed in the face of the stars. The forest wrapped around the two lovebirds like a shield, protecting the young love with the mightiest strength, propelling the love to new towering heights. They tangled in the river, laughed and kissed underwater until their lungs forced them up. All without him.

Biscoff no longer liked the forest that much. He couldn't do anything to get away either, from the sight and from his jealousy. He was stuck in the home he came to hate, trapped in the forest he used to love. He could only hide, with birds who never sang for him like they sang for Nesryn, with trees who never bent to supply him with a seat like they gave to Jaari.

Even so, he couldn't bring himself to hate any of them. To hate Nesryn, his sweet brother who he taught to love, that would be blasphemy. To hate Jaari, the only person who never winced at the sight of his face, that would be cruelty. To hate the forest, who had cared for him for so long... Well, that would be just plain rude. It didn't really matter if the love he received wasn't as good as what others got, at least he got it.

Right?

If he said something, if he objected, if he told them they were hurting him, would they listen? Was he hurting himself by saying nothing?

"Why doesn't anyone care?" He would whisper to the trees, never to receive an answer.

"Will I always be alone?" He would ask, as the single coin he owned slowly drifted to the bottom of the town well.

He never got answers, so he eventually stopped asking.

The branches ripped their ankles apart as they ran, ferocious and angry at their pounding feet's destruction. Despite their lashings, the forest still loved the two boys enough to cover their tracks with long sweeps of the thousands of arms, the breeze leading the two siblings far from the home that called out to them. Biscoff led his cherished brother as far into the forest as he knew, taking the brunt of the violent retribution as they ran. Nesryn said nothing as they ran, delicate tears rolling down his cheeks, and Biscoff did nothing but hold his brother's hand just a tad bit tighter.

Eventually, just as a light rain began to fall, Biscoff stopped at a tree with a small book carved at the base. "Here," he murmured to the top of Nesryn's head, helping his brother nestle into the space, Biscoff settling for the less comfortable spot next to his brother. With dirty hands, Biscoff petted Nesryn's head until his sobs died down to sniffles.

"I don't want to go home." Nesryn whimpered, curling closer.

Biscoff nodded.

"I don't-" Nesryn hiccupped, wiping his cheeks with cracked fingers. "I don't want you to have their name anymore. You're not like them." With a hesitant smile, Nesryn lifted weary arms up to give Biscoff a careful hug. "You're my brother."

For a moment, Biscoff was flabbergasted, stuck in place by his confusion alone. Only when his shirt grew wet from the tears of the boy in his arms did he get the strength to hug Nesryn back, a soft glow in his heart warming a little hole he had begun to ignore again. "Yeah." Biscoff smiled, hugging Nesryn just a bit tighter. "Brother."

It was the first hug he had ever gotten. It was nice.

They returned the next day, a little damp and awfully musty. It was the first time they had ever stayed away from home overnight, and although they laughed together on the way, they were both terrified.

What would happen when they opened the door?

Determined to protect his brother instead of hiding in another room like before, Biscoff took the daunting task of entering first. A terror greater than the depths of hell greeted them instead of their father, a horrifying but handable figure. No, they didn't spot their father anywhere. Instead, seated quietly at the kitchen counter, was Mother.

"You worried us. You know you're supposed to return home every evening." She nodded towards the living room. "Let's talk."

With shaking fingers, Biscoff quietly trudged into the living room with his brother's hand held firmly with his, sitting up as much as he could in the sinking cushions to allow Nesryn to hide behind his bulky form. Nesryn could handle father. No one could handle mother.

His mother sat on the couch across them with the grace of a dancer, the frown lines in her face straining against the smile she wore today. "Now, _Miststück_, you've been very sneaky lately. I've seen the berry stains in the family baskets. What have you been doing, naughty child?"

"I get hungry at night, mamam, so I gather berries in the forest to eat later." It was the most Biscoff had ever spoken in one sitting, and his voice strained as he trembled in place. He hated speaking.

For a moment, his mother was calm, making the harsh clap of her hand against his face all the more shocking. Nesryn nearly jumped off the couch from the sudden noise. "Don't lie to me! Especially to protect the little mistake hiding behind you. You know how much I hate that, don't you?" She huffed, grimacing at the sight of the hand that touched Biscoff's skin. "_Drecksau_... Look at how much dirt is on my hand now! Absolutely filthy."

Biscoff kept his mouth shut. No one interrupted Mother.

"Now, _Miststrück_, tell me the truth."

Nesryn pulled away slightly from Biscoff. "He got the berries for me, mamam."

Fury crossed Mother's face before either could stop it, her form rising to its full height. "Do not talk to me!" With speckles of red glimmering in her blackened eyes, she glowered at her elder son. "How dare you disrespect my rules! I have told you to never associate with the demon in our home, and yet you completely defied me, dirty rat!"

"Mamam!" Biscoff glared, but Nesryn pulled him away from her reach before Biscoff could do anything stupid, stumbling to the corner of the living room.

Snarling, Mother stood tall, eyes locked on Nesryn. For such a cruel woman, she still kept her body rigidly elegant. “You should have died, you little bitch! We should have sold you for money as soon as your mother died!" She leaned closer to Nesryn's trembling form. "You have never been my son."

Biscoff pulled against Nesryn's desperate arms, eyes narrowed into slits. How dare she-

Nesryn bit his brother's arm in a wild attempt to distract him, startling him just enough to successfully pull his brother out of the living room and down to the basement, where Nesryn usually slept.

~

_Curled up in the arms of a young, sickly-looking woman was a tiny babe, innocent eyes already full of tears. She rocked her, yet she cried: kissed her forehead, and she pushed her away. Fed her, cleaned her, nothing seemed to work… _

_Her husband could only laugh tiredly at the sight of their fussy little baby. “What a problem child she’s making himself out to be… Silly Bärbel...” Still, his eyes were only filled with love as he gazed down at his reclining wife and babe. _

_“I don't know what to do…” The poor mother was so distraught. In an act of desperation, she began to sing… _

_“Der mond ist aufgegangen…” _

_The babe’s cries paused. _

_“Die goldnen sternlein prangen…” _

_“It’s working!” The father whispered, moving to stand beside the two. The mother could only smile as he continued to sing, all while the babe’s eyes slowly flickered shut. _

_“In the sky, bright and clear_

_The forest is black and silent…”_

~

It took hours for Biscoff to calm down enough to stop pacing, his body still reeling from the strange emotion. Biscoff had never been angry before. He'd never even gotten close. He was always so easily pleased, so easily convinced out of that horrible feeling that he'd never felt it, and now that he did, he felt... Awful. The emotion left him trembling, seething, changed the world around him to a constant chant of violence and the truth he had ignored for so long. He hated it, and he hated his actions because of it. He hated how full of hate he was, just because of a single emotion.

Once he calmed, he swore off ever feeling the emotion ever again, as if he had that kind of control.

He and his brother didn't leave the basement that night, deciding to let their father deal with the beast this time. Curled up close on the dirty mat Nesryn called a bed, they held hands in an attempt to feel grounded. Neither said anything that whole day. Neither really had to.

As Nesryn fell asleep, a rugged, unused voice whispered into the dark stone below them…

_ “You may not be her son, but I will always be your brother.” _

Nothing is ever the same. How could it be?

Nesryn, despite all the promises, spent less and less time by Biscoff's side, running away from home more and more over longer and longer periods. He would stay over at Jaari's or hide in the forest instead of returning home. Biscoff instead went back to the normal routine, wandering the forest all day before returning home at dusk. He still collected berries for Nesryn, but they often rotted in the corner of the basement. Biscoff hated it, of course, but he convinced himself there was nothing else to be done- he could not change his brother's mind, could not fix the family enough to goad him back home.

Besides, he'd rather Nesryn stay away, living a safer life then what Biscoff has seen him face before.

Jaari and Nesryn's relationship crumbled after Nesryn had to face those harsh words, starting with the simple demands that Jaari kiss him one time too many. You see, Nesryn had lived a long life of broken promises and empty dreams, refused everything he asked for and thrown away anytime he was given. But Jaari, Jaari wanted him, and Jaari could be controlled. So, desperate for one part of his life he could get control from, Nesryn started making demands.

Unknown to everyone, the demands came out of a place of fear as well. Even at the beginning of the relationship, Jaari showed no intentions in learning about Nesryn or loving his mind, instead loving Nesryn’s body and the idea of having someone to love. For Nesryn, someone so desperate for love, this used to be enough. But soon the need for more rose within Nesryn came.

They started simple. Playful, even. Stay another minute. Just another kiss. Let me sleep an hour longer. Just skip a day. Get me another glass. Go another round. Stay up another night. Skip another week. Ignore that woman, she'll steal you, you're mine forever, right? You'll do this for me, right? Don't you love me? Don't you know how much I need you?

Jealous, needy. Jaari was the only one who really cared, right? The only person who loved him. Jaari loved him.

_No, he doesn’t, if he did he would talk to you, would ask questions, would peek into your heart-_

You don't want to know what'll happen if you say no, right?

Biscoff observed it all from the shadows, from the whispers in the crowds and the teary eyes who visited him from time to time. Jaari visited, more and more as the days went on, confessing fear after fear as bruises budded and flowered on his sunny skin. Anything Biscoff said in response was brushed away- Nesryn needed him, there was nothing to talk to him about. It wasn't abuse, no, Jaari just made a few mistakes, fell down a few too many stairs...

He was nothing like his parents. No, he was affectionate, caring, he loved Jaari, he did! The violence was just- he would get angry. He hated himself for every explosion, apologized after every time, but he couldn’t stop himself. The rush of power that would consume him… He had never felt that powerful before. He never had a chance to be.

So now that he had such power over someone as meek and coy as Jaari… It was intoxicating. Not the anger, not the red pouring into his vision, but the rush he got when seeing Jaari on the floor, pinned under his arms- weak. Controlled. _His. _Nesryn never had something before. Now that he had, he wanted every bit of it, and Jaari gave him everything right? Jaari was everything.

Jaari did not give his everything.

What would you do if you watched the world crumble around you?

The day it fell began as just another day Jaari was visiting. Biscoff was leaning against a favorite tree of his, a friend who's branches moved in a little wave anytime he passed. In his lap was Jaari's head, face black and blue while his cloudy hair sprawled on Biscoff's thigh. Biscoff carded his cleanish fingernails through the locks, knowing it calmed the smaller boy, just as he spoke his first few words in weeks.

"He's hurting you. You need to leave him."

Jaari sighed and pulled away, shaking his head. His shoulders sank. "I can't."

A shadow in the trees narrowed their eyes, anger clouding their good judgment. The shadow crawled out of the branches that hid them, starting the two boys into looking their way.

"Nesryn..? Wh-What are you doing here?" Jaari stuttered softly, backing away as Nesryn approached Biscoff with the careful steps their mother used to take. Biscoff didn't like where this was going.

"I knew it!" Nesryn cried, using Biscoff's position on the ground to his towering advantage. "You're just as horrible as they are, trying to take everything good away from me!"

_ He’s all I have. Gods, I hurt him, I love him, I hate him, but he’s the only one who loves me. Or does he? _

Gripping Jaari's shoulders with a bruising grip, Nesryn pulled the boy behind him, glaring down at the shocked form of his brother. "You can't steal this away from me, Biscoff!"

_ Just like you stole the love of our parents. _

Everything else was left unspoken, as Nesryn left with Jaari gripped tightly between his fingers, seething smoke pouring out from between his teeth.

_ Jaari loved him. Jaari loved him, of course he did, Jaari loved him- _

Biscoff never saw either of them after that, not until...

Well. He heard stories from time to time, from neighbors who only spoke when Biscoff was particularly teary-eyed.

Stories about the loud arguments, the whimpers heard from behind closed doors. The slamming of furniture and the sound of a fist slamming against a body. Horrible, horrible stories. Some full of exaggeration, but always originating from the truth. Bloody walls, horrible screams, cracking bones… teary apologies barely heard in the dead of night. The last story was of a neighbor spotting Nesryn rushing out of the apartment with a single bag.

He ran as fast as he could to the apartment complex.

_ Jaari didn't love him. No one did, Jaari only felt pity, that’s the only reason why he stayed. He had to get away, keep him from hurting everyone else, get away from him, get away from everyone, g e t a w a y - _

Biscoff found Jaari bleeding in the kitchen of his empty apartment, crumpled on the ground. The apartment was a disaster, most likely ransacked by Nesryn himself in an attempt to find money for his escape act, broken chairs snapped on the ground from earth shattering anger... All Biscoff could do was comfort his friend, cleaning his cuts and holding him until he fell asleep.

Again, Biscoff felt himself facing that horrible emotion. Anger, towards his brother, towards Jaari, towards the world... Mostly towards his mother. He could only really run from it at this point. Run from home, run from retribution. Run from his promises. He couldn't go back home. Not after this. He would find a new forest, and stay there, lie in the dirt he called a second skin... Watch over Jaari. That sounded like a plan, like something he could do. He wouldn't hate Jaari, not for his foolishness, nor his mother, who cared long ago…

And Nesryn...

Biscoff could never hate anyone. Especially not his brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed!  
Edit: I forgot biscoff was trans im a fool in a man's shoes


	3. New people, new perspectives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaari and Biscoff leave home and meet someone new, we glimpse into how Nesryn's spending his time away, and some interesting developments come to pass...
> 
> Who is Vigilante, and what does he want?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing bad happens in this chapter that needs a warning, however- there is suggested sexual content. It's barely even hinted at, but still.

Finality. That's what this feeling was. 

With firm, resounding footsteps, Biscoff left the little cottage he called home and into the welcoming arms of the forest, crossing the surrounding river for the final time. The small sack containing the few items he and his brother actually cherished felt lighter than it should. Maybe it was the heavy weight that had left his shoulders... 

~

_“Alright, Bär-" she stumbled for a moment, Scolding herself and slapping her cheek lightly. "Biscoff! It’s time to come in!” His mother called from the doorway, a basket of dry laundry held against her hip. Little Biscoff, only five, nodded and ran to her, a bright little smile on his dirty face. _

_“The pixies say hello…” He mumbled, tugging at her free hand. _

_She only laughed and nodded absentmindedly, leading him into the house. “Of course… Come on, dinner is ready.” _

He nodded again and followed her inside. 

~

Only days prior did his mother hit the worst stage of her condition. Unlike his father, Biscoff felt no grief, and instead used the sullen air as a distraction in his escape. To run away, after years of inaction, of ignoring, of avoiding... He found himself smiling wider and wider as he traveled deeper into the forest he knew so well. Soon, he would find himself in an unfamiliar part, travel so far no one could find him unless he willed it so. Was this freedom? He wouldn't know. He had nothing to compare it to.

He still would have to formally renounce his family name in some nearby city before he was really free, and he was well aware- and yet, how could he take the time to travel so far when Jaari still lived in the cozy little town his home loosely connected to? He couldn't... He couldn't. Still, he knew what his name was now, and it surely wasn't Scarborough. Not anymore. 

Speaking of Jaari... His friend had never really been the same since Nesryn left. The fire in his eyes had faded out to the tiniest of flames, a small flick of candlelight facing off an ocean of blue. Biscoff was never very good at taming fire, but he tried his best to help his friend through the worst bits. There was only so much he could do. After all... Biscoff couldn't really work and he didn't even have a home anymore. Well, he did, but most interviewers didn't count the forest as a home. But Biscoff still tried his best to help. 

So when the hum of Festival feelings spread through the summer heat, Biscoff planned the best little trip to the Capital, where the Vizial Festival was central and at its best. Jaari was always a party person after all, what else was best to cheer him up? 

The little laugh Jaari made when Biscoff asked was not reassuring. "The Capital? I don't know, Biscoff... It's so far, and people there might be..." Jaari scanned the larger boy for a minute. "Cruel." 

"You like festivals." Biscoff smiled as best he could, "You'll like this one." 

"I don't know about this.." He sighed, crossing his arms. "But I guess we could always leave if we get bored or something... And I'll just have to make sure no one says anything." 

Biscoff was so relieved that the plan was working he almost started crying, right then and there. 

Travel was full of new things for the two boys to spot- they had never left their hometown before. While traveling in a caravan made specifically with the festival in mind, they passed wonder after wonder. Buildings that stretched high above their heads, bustling town squares filled with merchants and people with jingling pockets, street performers dancing while the bells on their skirts jingled. Everything was just so wildly different. Biscoff found himself craving the seclude of the forest, missing the layers of dirt on his skin... But this trip wasn't about him. It was for Jaari. 

And Jaari was... Well. 

Once they had left the second pitstop Jaari was at full momentum, the most excited he's ever been since the day they met, before Nesryn had any effect on him. Almost as if he was returning to his old self... If this was what Jaari was like once free from home, maybe returning isn't necessary. Maybe Biscoff had a chance to.... No. 

They arrived at the Capital two days before the festival, but any tourist wouldn't notice- in the eyes of everyone, the festival had pretty much already started. With lights strung everywhere and leafy decorations covering every building in sight, the boys have never felt more... Enchanted. It was all so mesmerizing. The city was so massive, with the Palace looming in the center of it all... Every street ended with the Palace. Everything so centralized... 

They wandered the streets in search of the inn they had notified beforehand, Jaari skipping as he ran this way and that. He was dancing down a foreign street when he paused, eyes widening in dumbstruck awe. Biscoff glanced over at what Jaari was so focused on.

Beauty incarnate stood in the center of chaos, a whimsical smile ingrained on the angel's face. Whoever this supernatural gift was, Jaari was entranced, feet tripping over themselves just to approach the tall, pink haired dream. Cloudy violet eyes deeper than the widest oceans, a gaze Jaari got lost in almost immediately. 

Typical. Biscoff could only watch as Jaari scrambled like an idiot to the pretty person's side, an action he really should be used to by now. Of course, Jaari would fall in love with the same crashing ferocity at such an inopportune time. Of course, it would be to the good looking stranger wearing cat ears. 

Feet dragging against the stone-paved ground, Biscoff headed towards Jaari's side. 

At first glance, the stranger seemed uninterested in Jaari's pestering, only really acknowledging him when Biscoff arrived. When the stranger spoke, Jaari shuddered. 

"Oh, hello! I don't mean to pester, but I'd really appreciate some help with something if you don't mind?" Even their voice was as light as their movement, floaty in nature. Jaari happily accepted, and soon they were wandering the woods next to the city. 

The stranger, named Raitas, was searching for something: however, they never really specifically said what they were looking for. Jaari still followed, loyal as a dog, despite any doubts Biscoff tried to voice. Eventually, the larger boy just gave up, always a step behind the two while his mind was miles above. 

The woods turned out to be much more dangerous than originally assumed. Well, at least, dangerous for Raitas. They were chatting with Jaari about clothing when they misstepped and slipped on a weathered stone, wobbling towards the drop of a waterfall... By inches, they landed in a shallow pool instead. While Biscoff struggled to settle his breathing, Raitas giggled and pulled Jaari down with him. 

the path they followed eventually passed by a pile of leaves, and Raitas jumped in without thought- the leaves fell through a hole they concealed, along with the dreamer themselves. The hiss of snakes alerted their senses... Raitas had grabbed a rope tethered to the top of the hole just in time, the smile on his face never disappearing. "How exciting!" He would say, laughing and spinning around the death hole he somehow escaped. 

"Aren't you scared?" Jaari had timidly asked, chest rising and falling in time with the nervous pattern of his heart. 

Raitas laughed, leaning close to the smaller boy, the smile now a constant, unmovable object. "Of course not! I don't really mind the danger!" 

They continued. 

Eventually, they come across the place Raitas was searching for- a small temple made of crumbling stone and rotting wood. The entranceway had fallen off its hinges, only hanging by the lock. Raitas pushed at the wooden door. The door fell apart before their eyes, and they continued. 

Laughing, Raitas ran down corridor after corridor, forcing the boys to follow them with just as much carelessness. Just as Raitas spotted a chest and head towards it, they tripped... 

The soft whoosh of an arrow flying true zipped past Jaari's ear. He turned his head just in time to watch the arrow pierce Biscoff's shoulder, and Jaari opened his mouth to speak-

Raitas continued to the chest, opening it absentmindedly as they called Jaari's name. A moment of silence. 

Who would you choose, Jaari? 

Biscoff knew exactly what the decision would be but the hope of a different decision lingered long enough to suck life from his breath the moment Jaari turned away. 

_~_

_"Look!"_

_In his hands, a rose._

_"Do you think mother will like it?" _

_Tiny hands, covered in bruises. _

_"Do you think mother will love me?" _

_Mother never loved you. _

_"Aren't you excited? Your new brother arrives today!" _

_"Aren't you excited? You'll have a new friend to play with!"_

_"Aren't you excited?" _

_I'm sorry._

_"Welcome home!" _

_"Choosing you was a mistake." _

He awoke to sun peeking from the window, still barely out of the ground. The room glowed with the warm yellow light and he curled into it, gently floating out of his forgotten dreams. Content. He closed his eyes again…

An almost human groan woke him from semi-consciousness, bleary eyes finally submitting to the calls of the birds outside. A warm body rose from its spot curled up against his back. "Ah, fuck... What time is it?"

With a sign, he said goodbye to the remnants of his dreams and sat up, glancing at the clock that sat on the bedside table next to him. "It's only seven..." The room grew colder. "I should get going. Thanks again for letting me stay the night." He crawled out of bed and stood, unsurprised to find himself naked. 

On the other side of the room, the stranger he met the night before grumbled into the crumpled shirt he struggled to get on past his head. What was his name again? Shit, he was sure the stranger said it at some point... Or maybe he screamed it? "Yeah, whatever. Just be gone by eight." 

"Understood..." He trailed off as the bedroom door shut. The warmth of the morning disappeared, just like it did the day before, and the day before that, and... His face cracked. 

One by one, his wrinkled clothes found their home on his body, and soon his lips were coated once again with lipstick he stole from the last friendly stranger. Someone new now looked back at him in the mirror. 

Nesryn left the town with sights on the next one, already hopelessly disappointed with tonight's new stranger. 

~

The festival came too soon. 

Dread had begun to form in Biscoff's stomach the moment Jaari decided Raitas could tag along, twisting knots into his empty stomach until his hunger faded away. A new feeling settled afterwards, a feeling he loathed the moment it was introduced. He didn't want to describe it. 

When Jaari asked if anything was wrong, he said nothing. 

He tried to convince the trip was for Jaari anyway, and that maybe someone new would help Jaari recover, and he told himself over and over as if repeating it like a mantra would change the truth. With carelessness that could kill... Raitas was trouble, and Biscoff could do nothing to prevent the inevitable. Jaari was always attracted to pretty people, after all. 

The festival was in full swing when they left the temporary housing set up for tourists. Lanterns slowly rose to the sky even now, others still being built at small art stations set up throughout the city. Biscoff only had moments with Jaari before Raitas came and swept him away. What would he say? He had to say something... 

Just as he opened his mouth, Raitas appeared from behind and pulled Jaari into a spin, guiding him into the crowd with a serene smile on his face. 

All Biscoff could do was watch as the two danced, a crowd forming around the two. Raitas was elegant with each and every move, whisking Jaari to and fro with the confidence of a womanizer. Women and men alike sighed in disappointment at the sight of such a specimen being taken. They looked just like a couple. 

After hours of watching at the sidelines, Biscoff finally disappeared into the crowded streets, head bowed low.

Snuggled in the arms of Raitas while watching the stage performer dance and sing, Jaari had never been so content. His heart fluttered each time his body breathed in time with Raitas, each time he felt their heartbeat underneath his fingertips. It was perfection. He opened his eyes... 

The dancer cried out in pain as an arrow embedded itself in their leg, body crumpling to the ground. Jaari turned towards where the arrow came from, just in time to spot a figure scrambling down and alleyway. Like an idiot, Jaari followed, leaving Raitas behind. 

The figure turned a corner and disappeared. It took a few moments for Jaari to reach the turn, but when he did, he wasn't expecting what he saw. 

A tall, monster of a person hidden behind a mask and cloak stood above the motionless body of the figure. 

"Oh." Jaari chuckled, spotting the bat in the person's hand. They must've just knocked the figure out. "Uh, hi?" 

The person tilted their head, leaning against the grimy alley wall and crossing their arms. They seemed hesitant for just a moment before tilt their head. "What's a pretty guy like you doing following a criminal?" Oh, wow, that was a voice alright- Jaari nearly melted into the smooth baritone, heart stuttering just a tad as the person (presumably a man, judging by the masculine lilt to his voice) moved an inch closer. 

"I-Um-" molten heat rose to his cheeks as Jaari stammered, eyes fluttering. "Pretty?" 

"Well, of course." the cloaked man passed by Jaari with a chuckle, hidden eyes boring into his form. "Just a statement of fact." 

Oh, fuck- how was he supposed to respond to this?! Wasn't he and Raitas- wait, he lived so far away, how would he and Raitas even date- 

While the rational side of him screamed in an attempt to sort out his thoughts, Jaari's body was left unattended to and somehow not thinking just made the situation worse. "I have a boyfriend, you know!" Oh gods, what is he saying? 

"Of course.” The mask was so close to his face now. "What's your name?"

Don't. Do not. Don't you dare. Do not give random strange cloaked men your name Jaari please-

"It's Jaari, your voice is nice please tell me your name!” Words flew out his mouth, just as his brain short circuited. How did he say that sentence without dying on the spot? He certainly feels like dying right about now. 

Mask man laughed, gloved fingertips just barely kissing his skin as he lifted up Jaari's chin. "Call me Vigilante. I have to go… But we’ll meet again.” The mask smiled as the man ran, disappearing around a corner before Jaari could react. 

Oh.

That was a new feeling in his chest.

Jaari moved into the Capital City two days before the end of the vacation. 

Saying goodbye to Biscoff was emotional, but he convinced himself that he was just turning a new leaf, right? Leaving the past behind. This was a good idea. Moving in with Raitas... He was just staying for Raitas, right? Because he loved him. Not because of the cloaked man in the alley. No, it was for his new wonderful partner who let him stay at their apartment! It was for them! That's all this was! 

~

Biscoff left the city and headed straight for the woods. 

~

Jaari realized he had a problem when he thought of shooting the mayor to get Vigilante's attention. 

It was just a thought, he swore! He wasn't actually that desperate! 

… 

He was that desperate. 

It's not like he's in love with the weird guy, or anything- he's just curious. So curious that he visited the alley on the weekends, and checked the newspaper (who even reads those things???) and even watched the shady neighborhood at night in hopes of spotting the crime-fighting weirdo that called him pretty. 

Because he was curious!!! Not attracted!!! Shut up!!! 

Anyways. Raitas was better than any stranger. 

Being with Raitas was as good as any flowery relationship could be- Jaari took them everywhere he could afford with the money he "borrowed" from his parents. He bought them roses, slept in the park under the moonlight, went out to fancy restaurants, showered Raitas with gifts... It was all amazing, of course! He always had fun! And Raitas did too. Maybe. Raitas was always hard to read... Whatever! He was sure Raitas enjoyed everything, they would've said something if they didn't... 

But that didn't matter right now. Jaari's birthday was today and he was nearly bouncing off the walls in excitement for what Raitas might do for him. Maybe they'll figure out a date this time? Or maybe a gift, a gift might be nice! Or maybe they would... 

Jaari blushed and continued with the dishes, willing away the red tint to his cheeks. 

Just as he finished, the door to their room cracked open, a sleepy Raitas stumbling out of the room. Even half asleep, they were gorgeous. 

"Good morning!" Jaari cheered from the sink, moving on to set the prepared breakfast on the tiny table meant for one. He usually just ate at the kitchen counter, or standing. 

Raitas didn't respond at first, instead slumping into the worn wooden chair and carefully picking at the eggs on their plate. "Thanks. Oh, is that vesulin fruit? You can't get that anywhere!" 

"Yep! A merchant from out of town was visiting and I remembered how much you liked them..." He special ordered them. 

"Neat." Raitas finished in record time and shoved the dirty plate into the sink, narrowly avoiding the clean plates Jaari was about to put away. "Alright, well, I'm heading out. A friend's hosting a party tonight and I can't miss it!" 

Jaari paused, eyebrows furrowing. "But..." he started to put away dishes just to give his hands something to do. "We're not going out, or anything?" 

Raising an eyebrow, Raitas moved to grab their keys, left abandoned on the counter from the night before. "What? Why would we? Am I forgetting something?" 

"It's my birthday..." Turning his head, Jaari found himself almost disappointed in the blank look Raitas gave him. A horrible feeling twisted in his gut. 

"Oh. Well, I can miss this party if you really want me to, but why don’t you can come along? I could get you a few drinks or something." Raitas smiled carelessly, wrapping they're free arm around Jaari's waist. The affection felt empty. 

Trembling, Jaari nearly dropped the plate that he gripped onto like a lifeline. "Ah..." His breath quickened. "No, I should clean the apartment..." He missed the cupboards a couple times in his attempt to put the plate away, but Raitas didn't notice. 

Raitas hummed thoughtfully, kissing Jaari's forehead lightly. "Alright… I’ll make sure to come back with something for you then. Bye, babe, love you!" They pulled away headed out of the apartment, the door locking shut behind him. 

"Love you too..." 

Later that day, as the sun had just begun to set, Jaari was curled up on the couch with a book in his hand. So engrossed in the particular story, Jaari was nearly fell off from his perch when the window shuddered, as if something had lightly tapped it. Scrambling out of the blankets he had wrapped himself in, he ran to the window, squinting against the light of the sun. Right outside his window, sitting precariously on his windowsill, was a tiny pouch with a note tied to the strings holding it together. Curiosity taking over any sense of danger, he quickly opened the window and snatched the pouch, closing the window with a bit more force than necessary. With a smile spreading across his lips, Jaari tugged the pouch open, skipping the note. 

Inside was a green stone tied to a chain. The chain was just long enough to fit around his neck and clip in the back, and the stone glimmered in the last of the sunlight. After spending a moment admiring the pretty glare the stone cast into his walls, he opened the note. 

Happy Birthday, Pretty Boy. 

-V 

Jaari rushed back to the window, slamming it open and gazing at the streets below. Could it be? There was no way... He couldn't have… 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nesryn no don't fuck that guy- oh no did u steal his stuff no nesryn the cops are coming oh no he can't hear us hes got airpods on oh no


	4. and I'm shocked (when you don't sweep me off my feet in the morning)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaari causes a bit more trouble. Some eggs go bad. Vigilante is hot, as always. 
> 
> And Raitas realizes some things...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as an apology for forgetting to update, y'all get two chapters instead of one  
We getting to the end of this mess and oh boy it gets worse

_ "Oh, what a beautiful child he is! Just as pretty as his mother." The old hag cooed, smiling down at the little babe the young woman held so tightly. The young woman giggled and nodded along, a dainty little thing with big brown eyes and long curly locks. The small town called this woman their little doll, as she was the kindest little thing who always made it her goal to greet any newcomer to the quiet little town. Always waving with a big smile at the arriving guests, she invited them to her little cottage where her husband will happily serve them a warm meal... Oh, such a doll she was! Perfect little housewife who loved her husband and taught the children in the town schoolhouse. The little babe she held was her first born... _

_ Her husband wasn't the handsomest or strongest man the town has known, but he was a good man with a solid heart and a weak back. Despite the pain he sometimes faced, he was happy to ignore it to help the family. He was so excited for the baby, positively beaming and showing the baby around to anyone who'd look. The other women in the community loved him for his dedication, thought he was so sweet. What a wonderful couple, what a wonderful family! _

_ The couple must be so happy... _

_ But as the woman giggled and chatted with the women of the village, the husband sat silently in the bedroom, eyes absently gazing out towards the window. _

_ The town had always known them as a couple who rarely touched in public, and everyone had always assumed that was just a little quirk- they were so obviously in love, but some people just didn't like touch as well as others, and they had always accepted them without question. But over the years, as the babe grew into the cutest little boy, the couple grew distant from each other... _

_ The boy was a delight, even as a tiny little six year old. The women of the town fawned over him anytime he visited their children, happy to love the adorable son of their village beauty. Such a delightful child could only come from a happy marriage, they thought. _

_ The boy was too young to counter. He had always assumed it to be normal. Mothers love and kiss their children, tuck them into bed, laugh into their hair as she reads them bedtime stories. Fathers dance in the kitchen with their children as the soup on the stove burns, spin them around outside with outstretched arms, hug and rock them when they scrape their knee. He always saw it as weird, when his friend's mom kissed and hugged her husband, or told him she loved him, or sleep in the same bedroom... They weren't supposed to do that. But the boy didn't say anything. _

_ He saw his father give his mother a gift on her birthday. She accepted it with a smile, but when his father's birthday came around, all he saw was his father staring quietly through the window as his mother visited a neighbor. _

_ When he was seven, they started fighting. Father told mother she wasn't trying hard enough. Mother told father he was trying too hard. Father told mother she was taking this too far. _

_ Mother told Father she never loved him. _

_ Then Mother left. _

_ She cried into his hair at the doorway, holding her son tightly as she whispered love into his ear. She held onto him until his father grunted from his spot behind them, arms crossed and frown clear on his face. His mother kissed his forehead, grabbed the handle to her bag, and left town. _

_ "I'm sorry, Jaari." _

Jaari opened the fridge and grimaced, tapping the tiny little icecube that was supposed to keep their food cold. "Raitas, how long has it been since we replaced the fridge ice?"

"Dunno, babe." Wearing the smallest shorts known to mankind, Ratias strolled into the kitchen with a cold cup of coffee in one hand and a magazine in the other. "This is why I keep telling you to just get an enchanted one, they're so much more effective."

Jaari groaned, pulling out a suspiciously-smelling carton of milk with his nose plugged. "I'll pick one up this weekend. Meanwhile, I guess I have to do another food run...." Chucking the milk in the trash, he went back into the box of horror for another rotten food item. Fuck, were those even eggs anymore? "And call the ice guy. Would you mind taking the trash out once I finish this, I'll need to shower..."

Raitas shrugged and nodded, wandering out the room. "Good luck!"

Jaari flipped him off and gagged as the eggs cracked open after tossing them into the trash.

It took an hour to clean out the fridge, and another to shower. By the time Jaari left the bedroom looking presentable, the trash was empty of disgusting, rotted produce. He glanced to the desk that always set the keys, and was unsurprised to see them gone. Of course.

After a heated chat with his apartment manager about calling the ice guy, Jaari had successfully set up a meeting with this elusive man and was headed towards the grocery he frequented... Without any means of transportation besides his feet, in this grimy city.

He left the complex with grim acceptance of his fate.

He was sweating by the time he reached the small grocery he frequented as much as he could. A smile spread across his face as he entered. The wonderful little place was always nice and chilly due to the enchantments the store requested, so Jaari just relished in the sweet cool air for a while. He made light conversation with the old man at the counter he'd come to like. He had just started to grab a basket and search for the items on his crinkled list when the clink of the door signaled someone else entering the shop. Jaari didn't bother to look, instead focused on switching cracked eggs in the best looking carton.

The sharp, piercing sound of glass shattering sent Jaari scrambling, broken eggs forgotten on the ground as his undivided attention was on the figure who entered the shop.

Concealed behind a hat and a bandana wrapped around their face, the future had shattered a glass bottle full of liquor over the old man's weathered desk, the poor old man reduced to whimpers. Another bottle was held in the figures gloved hand, his free hand shoving a bag in the old man's face.

"Do what I said!" The old man could only nod and grab the bag, eyes flickering towards the bottle even as he opened the register. Jaari couldn't move, arms trembling. The sound repeated over and over in his head, images resurfacing of a familiar scene- you're not leaving, are you? You can't leave, that's not fair, you can't-

"Are you alright?"

Jaari's head snapped up, slamming right into the wall he had been propped against. Groaning, he opened eyes he didn't even realize he had closed and warily scanned his surroundings. His eyes widened at the sight of a familiar mask.

Vigilante was standing over him like a guardian angel, a gloved hand extended out for him to take. With shaking hands, he took it.

Leaning against the cloaked man for a moment to get his bearings straight (and definitely not to cop a feel, although he did appreciate the strong biceps as much as he could without being noticed) and take in the wrecked grocery. There must've been a tussle, as multiple stands had been knocked aside. The old man was calling someone on the phone, still sniffling. The figure from before was unconscious, hands tied behind his back, slumped over one of the fallen stands.

Starry eyes gazed up at the cloaked man, a smile on Jaari's lips despite how his body trembled from aftershocks. "Thank you... I, uh, didn't expect to see you again."

Vigilante nodded, patting Jaari's head like a mother to their child. With no moment of consideration, the larger man lifted Jaari with ease and set him down on a chair stashed behind the counter. With his arms now free, he began quietly cleaning the shop to the best of his ability.

"Why are you doing this?" Jaari called out, confusion laced in his tone.

The man seemed to think for only a moment before responding. "You like this place, don't you?" Vigilante’s tone wasn’t really amused like Jaari thought it would be. No, he sounded… Soft.

Jaari left the grocery empty handed, with only pieces of egg on his shoes to even show he was there. He went to a different, larger market to grab the things he needed before heading home. As he passed by a run down part of the city, he spotted a mural featuring a muscular, less dressed Vigilante standing high above a cheering crowd, and Jaari stopped just for a moment to oogle. Not because this scantily clad fever dream was appealing or anything. But because of the artistry, the shading of the biceps that could snap him like a twig. Yeah. He's fine. As in Jaari’s fine, not-okay. He needed sleep.

At home, he couldn't sleep until even the world was completely silent. He dreamed of the cloaked man sweeping him off his feet and carrying him away...

_ Slack body splayed across some abandoned couch, Jaari was having the best time of his life. Those parties Raitas goes to all the time? Really good party. Jaari can understand why Raitas bailed him for something like this. Being wiped with some random drug a guy with metal in his face gave you felt great. The rush was fine and all- he was pretty sure he just laid some sick moves in the dirt of some guy's back yard then made out with some hot dude in the corner for a couple minutes, the cheers of the crowd forever echoing in his ear. But the full-body latharcis he felt afterwards was the most relaxed he'd felt in decades. Faded worlds, mumbled words, so close to the haze he occasionally backed into when he was submerged in guilt or in water, but today he was living in it, thriving in it, and damn... _

Maybe he shouldn't be doing this. He couldn't move his body... Things started to go numb. Yeah, this was a bad idea, where was Raitas-

In the distance, someone was calling. The voice was sharp, lilting, with a dash of confidence and little pinch of concern. Sounded like cinnamon, or ginger candy, or milk coffee on a rainy day. His body moved, shook, until gravity came crashing down and the haze shattered into blaring lights. Oh, Jaari was upright, and ginger candy babe was holding onto him, leading him away.

"Let's get you home..." Ginger candy babe spoke into his ear, bright pink locks ghosting Jaari's neck. Oh, Jaari was getting the tingles, wack. At least he could feel his feet again. That was good.

\

_ Raitas couldn’t really explain the change their mind went through during the explosion. One moment, they had little concern for many of their friends, but maybe the severity of the situation… Or the sight of Jaari in such a bad state… Something clicked in their head. Maybe their empathy button finally got turned on. They just… Started feeling.  _

/

Then a few things happened all at once. A blast of cold air brushed by his thawing limbs just as the ground trembled and cheers turned to screams. He felt his body move to the whims of ginger candy babe as they hid them both behind a tipped table, eyes widened with fright. Luckily, the cold was helping his brain wake up, and Jaari could finally remember the name of the person who brought him here in the first place.

"Wh-What the fuck is happening, Raitas?"

Grimacing, Raitas pulled Jaari closer to them. "Don't know. I'm sorry about this, I should've been watching you..."  _ They should have cared. _

Jaari waved him off as best he could, focusing most of his strength on glancing at the crowd from behind the table. There was obviously a fight going on, but he couldn't tell from his distance... "Raitas, maybe you should go find some help..?" With a hesitant kiss to their cheek, Jaari smiled reassuringly. "I don't think I can move much yet, so I'll just chill here..."

"Woah, what? No!" The ground rattled, scattering loose silt into the air. "I'm not-” Raitas broke off into a coughing fit, trying to wave away the dust and keep quiet unsuccessfully. "I'm not leaving you here."  _ They would’ve left him before. Gods, they’re horrible. _

"Just go!" Jaari refused to look at Raitas, resolving himself to curling against the table instead. He never saw the look of worry, or the grim resolve. All he heard was the resounding footsteps of Raitas' retreating form and the quiet promise of return whispered in his ear.

It only took minutes for Vigilante to appear, as Jaari expected. He found himself laughing quietly to himself as the larger man scooped him up, carrying him away from the suspiciously quiet war zone. "You come here often?" Commiting to the love crime Jaari was already dug himself into, Jaari happily curled up to Vigilante's chest, the sleepiness from the drug finally winning the battle against the fading adrenaline.

Vigilante chuckled "No." Gloved fingers ruffled Jaari's hair, almost affectionately. The cloaked man went quiet soon after, and eventually placed Jaari down far away from the scene Jaari doesn't think he'll even remember. "Can you get home safely?"

"Uh-" Jaari spotted Raitas out of the corner of his eye, frantically searching through a crowd. "Yeah. You head home, big guy. I promise I won't make any trouble."

He got another chuckle from Vigilante then, a little more breathy but a chuckle nonetheless. "I'll hold you to that." 

Raitas did eventually find him curled up on a park bench later on that evening as Jaari was still a little too out of it to make any effort to be found. After countless apologies and scoldings for recklessness, they both made their way home.

~

_ “Mamam, can I go upstairs with you?” _

_ His mother scowled at him from across the dinner table. “No, mistück. Haven’t I told you already that upstairs is off limits?” _

_ Biscoff whined, pouting a bit. “But I wanna see-” _

_ “Absolutely not!” She placed a few more vegetables on his plate as punishment. _

_ Sighing softly, Biscoff happily munched on the vegetables, avoiding the meat as much as he could. “Could I at least go into the room next to mine…?” He hadn’t been in that room in so long- only good boys used that room. _

_ His mother hummed a little. “Maybe. You know we like to keep the bathroom clean for guests… And you always get it so dirty! My ugly dirty boy…” She stood and took his plate, which had the meat still pushed to the side. “Picky, too.” _

_ “Sorry, mamam…” _

_ Shaking her head, his mother gave his head a nice pat. “No, it’s alright darling. I still love you. Now go to your room and get ready for bed.” _

_ Obediently, Biscoff rose and made his way back to his room, passing by a door labeled ‘library’ on his way out. Like many other doors in the house, this one had a little dog sticker on it- telling Biscoff he wasn't allowed inside. _

_ And like a good boy, he never tried.  _

~

Raitas had always felt just a little different than others. Their parents never really clicked, only married for money, and had polar opposite parental strategies... So instead of trying to deal with them, they instead just faded into the background of his own life. Soon they had learned how to fade out entirely, passing through highschool without one relationship on their record. Flings weren't really their thing, but commitment wasn't really either… Their entire perspective had always been a little hard to decipher. But they never thought they were that different. They thought that maybe they'd love someone someday, or that the feelings they had were just some subdued version of love they couldn't interpret.

So when they spotted Jaari cuddled against the chest of someone else, hearts in his eyes...

They were only slightly surprised by the lack of crawling jealousy so many others had described, only slight disappointment that Jaari had another friend he'd rather see. Shouldn't they be overcome with emotion? Shouldn't they be screaming, weeping, defiant in the face of their new enemy? It wasn't that they didn't care, it was just... They felt no betrayal. Nothing at all. Maybe this was why they had no sympathy before.

They needed to... They needed to talk to him. 

It was the night after when they finally confronted Jaari, right as he sat in bed, with them standing right in front of him.

"We need to talk."

Jaari jolted front the words, little wrinkles of fear already tensing his muscles. Noted. "What about?"

In an attempt to calm Jaari down, they reached out with nimble fingers, slowly rubbing the tension out of his shoulders. "I haven't..." They were at a loss for words. "We're not working." Immediate regret and a few alarm systems went off in their Head, all pointing towards imminent disaster. This wasn’t what they wanted to talk about, not yet, but their clumsy mouth...

Just as they predicted, Jaari nearly closed off completely, shoulders tight-locked around invisible pain. "What?! Is this..."

"Not if you don't want it to be, of course!" Amazing how a quick interjection could calm the smaller boy so quickly. "I just.." They hesitated, yet again struggling to convey the jumbled point they hadn't even established to themselves. "You're taking so much time to do stuff, and just... I'm not. And I don’t know how much I can really give you, but I don't think you should suffer because of it!"

Jaari squinted up at him, eyebrows furrowed. "What are you even talking about?"

A glunt of frustration tore out of Raitas' throat as they turned away, feet shuffling. "I'm talking about you." They sighed, slowly sitting beside Jaari and slumping against him. "You're just... Putting so much into this. And I'm not. And I don't think I can handle it because if I do, I'll just feel..." Trapped? Why is this so hard to convey? Why can't they just...

Conform.

"So it's my fault?" Jaari's body was tense.

Desperately, Raitas lifted their head and pleaded with their eyes, trying to convey emotion they didn't understand themselves. "No! No, no, that's not wha-"

"Then what do you want?" His words were cold.

"I..." They wanted so much. Of course, they couldn't tell the truth, when it mattered the most. When it could have prevented everything, because they just couldn't understand then what it even was and they don't think Jaari would've understood either. Gods, having feelings and worries for people all of a sudden sucked. "Can we try making this relationship, I dunno, low effort on both sides? Only doing what makes us happy. We take equal responsibilities of the house, and you don't have to cook and do all that weird maid shit unless you want to, and we can just..." They leaned away, blinking back tears. "Cuddle or something sometimes?"

Jaari softened, quietly nodding and pulling Raitas back to his chest. They both settled in for the night, curled up in each other's arms.

"I don't want to be the shitty ex in your life story, Jaari." Raitas whispered into his shirt, eyes fluttering shut. "I really do care about you. I don't want to hurt you." Well. they cared about Jaari  _ now. _

Jaari didn't respond. He was already fast asleep.

And Raitas never told him of what he saw… 


	5. Kiss me before the sunrise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaari makes lots of mistakes today

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jaari had a flashback and there's some abuse in it so pls be careful ily   
It starts at the percent sign if u want to skip it  
Edit: I posted this too early by accident (I forgot to edit the chapter itself) so sorry about that whoopsie

Staring at a sparkly flier pinned to the door of his apartment complex lobby for an hour straight wasn't what Jaari was planning on doing when he left his room today, but life just has its mysterious ways of surprising him. The bold pink letters VIGILANTE immediately caught his eyes when he passed it, and then the invitation pull tabs at the bottom... For a fanclub. A Vigilante fanclub. What would a Vigilante fanclub even include? Would they just talk about how hot he sounded?

Oh fuck, he was considering it. No, he wanted to join. Wait a minute, no, no-

He hurried past the flier with a pull tab clutched in his fist, cheeks hotter than the summer sun. 

"You know, I never thought this town needed anything special before..." 

Jaari turned curiously to face the old, withered man behind him in the market. Jaari’s hand still clutching a green pepper he was going to buy. The guy wasn't talking to him, was he? The market was always busy, and there were a few people already at this stall so early in the morning... No, the man was making eye contact. Damn. Why did he always get roped into stuff like this? 

"But with this new guy here, watching our backs.. Everything kinda feels a bit safer, doesn't it?" The old man smiled to himself, as if proud, and turned to the merchant that ran the stall. "Two red peppers, please." 

Shifting his focus back to his tasks for the day, Jaari didn't notice anything weird until the old man shoved a red pepper right into Jaari's face. "Here, one for my good friend." 

Jaari, confused, hesitantly took the pepper and watched for a moment as the old man left, humming to himself. A little bit safer... 

Yes. Because that was what Vigilante was for. Not for Jaari. Right... 

Jaari hurried along, basket held tightly in his arms as he continued his little shopping trip. He was sifting through different fruits, searching for the perfect mix of fresh but not too ripe, when something hidden in an alley caught his eye. He moved to look, curiosity getting the better of him.

The alley was a mess, fallen trash cans scattering rotten goods across the ground. Worn wooden boxes were stacked against the walls of the alley, little rods peeking out of cracks in the wood. Jaari leaned closer to inspect the rods, and pulled one out to see better. 

Fireworks. He was holding a large firework. 

He should put the firework down and leave calmly. Return home with his groceries, give Raitas a smile. Start on dinner. Go back to the disappointment of hesitant kisses, awkward limbs, random excuses. He received no love at home, right? He shouldn't feel guilty for seeking it elsewhere. He was just- He wasn't in the wrong! He didn't do anything wrong. Everything was fine. 

He missed Vigilante. 

Jaari ran as fast as he could out of the alley, eyes wide with panic. "Fire! Someone started a fire!" People rushed around him, towards and away. He could barely breathe, the blood rushing loud past his ears. Frantic eyes searched the crowds as he stumbled down the street, the harsh crackle of fireworks and ash buzzing overhead. Where was he? He had to be here, he always was. He had to be here, he had to-

He was suddenly swept up into the air, lifted high with the sky in his eyes. A single arm slung him over a firm shoulder and soon the burn of the fire left his skin. He couldn't see well from the angle he was held in, but the familiar arm that wasn't carrying him was attached to a hookshot. Vigilante had found him.

Another fling and they were airborne for what seemed like years before Vigilante found another place to shoot, dragging them from one building to the next. Time seemed to stop for Jaari. His heart was in his throat, he could feel it beat against his tongue, and he felt like laughing. He did laugh, eventually, clinging onto whatever he could as they flew through the sky. 

Eventually the pair settled down, so far from the fireworks and chaos that the lights were distant memories. Vigilante's coat was ruffled, showing a bit of his black leggings, and Jaari laughed lightly at the sight. Vigilante hid his body to almost comical degrees.

Oh, this was kind of romantic, wasn't it? On top of a roof, the sunset behind you, a mask-covered vigilante having just saved you... 

"Are you alright?" The smooth glide of Vigilante's voice pulled Jaari out of his mind. 

Jaari's legs were jello. How was he even standing? Oh- Okay, he's in Vigilante's arms now, his legs had given out, oh fuck, it's over, he's going to die from embarrassment. 

"I'm fine!" Jaari squeaked as Vigilante gently set him down on the ground, carefully moving to sit beside him. "Thank you! For, uh, you know, saving me! That was really cool... Uh..." 

Vigilante nodded, seemingly unaware of Jaari's peril. Jaari can't do it, he couldn't handle this. 

He had to-

Jaari moved Vigilante's mask just a tad, just enough to reveal soft, plush lips, and dove in. 

Vigilante tasted like smoke. Probably because he was breathing near a fire earlier, but Jaari didn't mind. His lips were surprisingly soft. Jaari had quite a bit of experience with kisses and this one? It was everything he had ever hoped for. Despite Vigilante's obvious lack of experience (their teeth hit a few times), he made up for it with surprising enthusiasm, body immediately curling towards Jaari. It felt kind of... Satisfying, to end up being the one in charge for once- and in charge he was. Poor Vigilante didn't know what hit him. 

They pulled away slowly. Poor Vigilante was trembling, clutching Jaari tightly. With gentle fingers, Jaari moved his mask back in front of his lips and smiled. 

"See you around?" 

Vigilante nodded vigorously, hesitating a moment before helping Jaari off the roof. He disappeared soon after. 

The kiss haunted his dreams. Even as Jaari cuddled close to Raitas, behind his eyes were sparks and the tremble of Vigilante's lips. He had no regrets, and yet guilt suffocated him, turning the soft arms wrapped around him into vines, holding him hostage. It felt so familiar... Horribly familiar. He found himself squirming, memories he'd rather forget floating to the surface. 

%

"Jaari." 

Wincing, Jaari gently closed the door behind him, slipping his shoes off. "Yes?" 

"What were you doing out so late?" Nesryn was standing in the center of the living room, arms crossed. 

"I had some business to take care of?" Jaari laughed nervously, quickly sobering after Nesryn snarled. 

Nesryn prowled when he was angry, and this was no different. "Business more important than me?" 

"No, of course not, but-" 

"You know the rules!" The slam of his fist against the table sent Jaari scampering away, shivers running down his spine. 

But he refused to back down So easily. Jaari mustered the fight in his body to hold an offensive stance, feet squared in front of him. "Just leave me alone!" 

"Excuse me?" Nesryn shoved him down onto the ground hard. Seething, he loomed over Jaari, angry eyes narrowed into tiny slits. 

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Jaari pleaded, curling up to protect what good skin he had left. Battered arms and legs could be covered with jewelry or sleeves, but the face was harder to hide. Tears bubbled up to the surface, but he resisted them, too proud to let them show. He was better than this, if he just listened maybe-

With a pleased smirk, Nesryn pulled away just a bit, already moving to help Jaari back up. "That's what I thought." 

Some sort of venom bubbled up Jaari's throat, bitterness and a tamed fighting spirit all wrapped up in one vicious package. "You're just like your father," he grumbled, whispered really, barely uttered, almost unhearable... 

But Nesryn had good ears, and within seconds had wurled his body around. 

The tiger lunged.

"Jaari? Are you alright?" 

He gasped for air, still fighting for freedom from whatever reached out towards him. His limbs felt only the phantom pain of ropes around his arms but to him it was real. He tried his best to rip them off, tears pouring out of his tightly shut eyes. He scratched at his arms frantically, cries only worsening as hs nails dug into his skin.

"Jaari, please! Listen to me! It's ok, it's just me, it's just Raitas..." 

Soft hands rubbed Jaari's bare, sweaty back, icy touches against his heated skin. Soothing rumbles of a tenor song floated around Jaari as he came to. He opened his crusty eyes to the sight of Raitas, on his knees beside him. They had somehow ended up on the ground, and as his body regained its normal senses, he felt a dull throb in his right shoulder and hip... He must've fallen out of bed. Still gasping for breath, he clung to Raitas, mind still sorting everything out. 

Never say that again. Repeat after me.

He couldn't speak coherently, lips too swollen and lungs gasping for air. Still, he repeated it like a prayer, until his world faded to black. 

"I'm sorry, I won't say it again, I promise, I'm sorry-"

In his delirium, Jaari never managed to notice the wide eyes of Raitas, watching over him from above. 

%

Now, Jaari never saw himself as a rash person. So, when he found himself pouting in his room surrounded by Vigilante merchandise the fanclub had so happily supplied, he was a little more than just confused. The little fanclub leader was just so welcoming, and everyone was so excited to meet the blushing beauty Vigilante had taken an interest to.. How would he know that he was kind of famous? It wasn't like he wanted to even join the fanclub, just check it out... Now he was an honorary member. What was he supposed to do with all this, anyway? 

For a moment, he panicked. How was Raitas going to respond? Horribly, right? He had to get rid of the plushies and pillows and figures and maybe eat the chocolates, they looked amazing-

"Jaari? I'm home!" 

Jaari shoved everything but the chocolates into his tiny little closet. "Just a second! I'm getting dressed!" 

The sound of Raitas setting the keys down echoed a bit ominously. "I'll be in the living room then!" They hummed softly, voice growing fainter as they moved around the house. "I was thinking of watching a movie tonight? Would you like to join me? I think it's a rom-com!" 

"Yeah, sure!" The little sticks that were his arms managed to force the closet closed, tying the door handles just in case the closing system decided to bust open later that night. "I got these free samples chocolates if you want to share them?" 

"Sounds cool! I'll get the movie ready then!" 

After securing the closet of doom, Jaari wandered to the living room, bare feet pattering against the hallway tiles. "You have blankets ready?" 

Raitas chuckled, smiling over at Jaari from their nest of glorious warmth. "I think I have like seven here." 

"Perfect!" Giggling, Jaari crawled into the nest and curled beside Raitas, some happy sort of warmth settling in his chest.

He hasn't seen Vigilante for weeks now. 

Reduced to a short fuse, Jaari had been whittled down to his last stretch, anxiety and guilt taking over his entire mind. In such a time, he began longing for his oldest friend... The closest one he ever had. The friend he abandoned. Why did he only think about this now?

How could he leave Biscoff alone like that? 

On day twenty-three, hope descended to him in the dead of night, while the world was fast asleep. Jaari was huddled on the living room couch, too hurt to sleep near anyone. At least Raitas understood- it was so hard to explain his grief over Biscoff without crying, but Raitas took in every word without a sound. But even angels need sleep, and Raitas included. With the city quiet, Jaari was left to simmer in his thoughts alone. 

Until a figure came crawling through the open window. 

For a moment, Jaari was too stunned to react. How could he react? He's been forgetting to eat for a few days, there was no way he could stand so suddenly even if he could. So he just waited. At least, until the familiar face of Biscoff came into view. Adrenaline rushed through him then and sent him flying into Biscoff's arms, tears already forming rivers on his cheeks. Surprisingly, Biscoff returned the hug so tenderly, supporting all of Jaari's weight. 

His arms felt like home. 

They stood like that for a while, before slowly settling down on the couch. With tattered voices, they talked quietly: Jaari of simple things, like the city and how he met Vigilante. Biscoff explained what he actually did when he left for home, albeit sheepishly. Jaari took the news with grace- he was too thankful for his return to care about the semantics. He was too lost in his own thoughts to notice anything wrong with Biscoff…

_"Biscoff! I found more!" A happy, bubbly young Jaari skipped into their little meeting clearing, hands loaded with worn children's books and used workbooks. Little Biscoff, who was in the center of the clearing practicing letters in his journal, brightened at the sound of Jaari's return and scrambled to help his new friend. _

_"Th-Thank you..." He mumbled, helping Jaari set all the books down on the ground. his baby eyes are wide with wonder as he gasped at all the pretty pictures in the books... _

_"I'm glad you like them! Oh, I even found one about sign language, since I know you don't like talking so much!" Jaari gave his new large friend a big smile, bringing tears together gentle giant's eyes. "Oh, don't cry! I'm sure you'll figure out how to read it all soon! It shouldn't be that hard, right?" _

_Jaari spent the day teaching Biscoff more letters as Biscoff scribbled all over the workbooks he was given. _

With strength returning to his body already, Jaari knew what he had to do.

It had been a month since Vigilante disappeared and a week since Biscoff came back when Jaari decided to act. At first he had no idea what to do, scared of getting caught. That's when the brilliant idea struck him. An idea so good, he would never get accused. That morning, he made his way to the busy rush of the streets. There, he waited, until the perfect opportunity arose..

Slipping through the cracks between carriages, he was almost in position- 

The world went black.

Jaari's eyes opened to the sight of green. Green canopies of tree leaves shielding him from the sun, fluffy green moss cushioning his body, green bush walls and beautiful fountains covered with green algae and vines. Everything around him was green- alive. Flowers pushed up from the ground, in between broken up slabs of stone. He seemed to be in some sort of abandoned grotto, mystical in its wild state. Sitting up carefully, he found his chest and arms aching a bit. That's right- the crash. What was supposed to be fake became real. 

Sighing, he inspected more of his surroundings, spotting a cluster of new items cluttered in a corner of the grotto. There, he spotted a humanoid shape wearing a very familiar coat…

"Vigilante...?" The figure jolted, turning his head around quickly. Judging by the muscles and the mask, it had to be Vigilante. "Where have you been?! I haven't seen you in a month!" Anger bubbled from his throat without meaning, despite the thousands of voices screaming in his head to stop. 

Vigilante was slow and meaningful with his movements- the hunched position had to be intentional. "What were you doing when I found you?" His words were oddly quiet and lacking, reminding Jaari of someone else... 

He shot the thought away, focusing on the task at hand. "That doesn't matter!" He stood, as jitters in his legs forced him to start pacing- his anxiety spiked. "Explain your little disappearing act, asshole!"

Instead of explaining or defending himself, Vigilante slowly tilted his head. As his body moved towards Jaari, he spotted the countless flowers carefully held in VIgilante’s free hand. The roots still lingered at the bases of the flowers, and he tucked them together in a single pot. Why wasn't he saying anything? The silence was too long, too thick, and Jaari moved his lips to change that, but Vigilante beat him to it. 

Vigilante's voice was but a whisper over the roaring in Jaari's ears, sad and smooth. "Why do you like Raitas?" 

Jaari fumed, stomping his way to a stop. "What?! Answer my question!" He just wanted answers. That's all! Still, he faltered at the sad sight of Vigilante, head hanging low and body tense. Jaari had never seen this before, not in Vigilante- sometimes seeing the strange and new was just what someone needed to start talking. 

"I..." Slowly, Jaari moved to sit beside Vigilante. "They're pretty, and nice. I like making them smile and cuddling together." He hesitated. "Why... Why do you ask?" 

"What about me?" 

Woah, what? "Huh?" Was Vigilante- jealous or something? This wasn't- he didn't predict this. Maybe he should have. "What does that mean?"

Vigilante sighed, slowly turning to face Jaari. "Was any of that real?" 

Jaari laughed, the last bit of anger dissolving into flashes of amusement. "Of course it was!" Vigilante was being a little silly. Just a little jealousy! A little reassuring will help, and Jaari was fully prepared to supply…

"But I'm not as good as Raitas." Vigilante kept interrupting. His voice was breaking as he continued, body starting to shake. "If I was, you would've..." 

This was just a huge misunderstanding. "No, you're-"

"Am I just a fling? Not worth any energy?" Vigilante's voice wobbled. "That's all?" 

Just a mistake. All he needed was hugs, promises.... "Of course not, you're more-"

"Prove it." 

Jaari stood silent. Shit. He’s a fucking stupid idiot.

How could he prove it? What was even there to prove? Raitas doesn't even know, and all there was- all he had... Attraction, love, feelings, he understood none of it. Did he love Raitas? Did he love Vigilante? He just wanted to know, to understand... Maybe he hasn't felt love before. Maybe he has, and he never will again. He just-

He couldn't- 

Jaari ran. 

The moment Jaari left, Vigilante started crying. He had been trying for so long, it had all been for him, Vigilante was created for Jaari, but now- 

The mask slipped off his face and clashed with the ground, shattering into millions of pieces. Tears slipped down his cheeks as he stood there. He finally had a chance. He had been so close... He had it in his fingertips. He had thought, for just a moment, that Jaari would choose him. For just a moment... 

Body collapsing to the ground, Vigilante gave up. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> damn rip vigilante


	6. Leave and Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaari makes a few more mistakes, Nesryn finally appears, and Raitas realizes something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yet again jaari has put on his clown shoes

Jaari left the Capital, nothing on him but his wallet and keys. Just for a little while. 

He wandered from town to town, and only really gone for a day when he arrived at the Fortune's Wheel, a little tavern hidden in an alleyway. Inside, everything was old and worn- the glossy finish of the wooden stools had rubbed away after years of use, beer glasses chipped at the top, tables with notches from knives that flew too hard. It was cozy, though. 

Jaari found himself relaxing in the golden warmth. His eyes scanned the patrons, many who seemed relatively comfy in their spots, but one person in particular stood out. Their back was turned to Jaari, but he could feel the tension that bled off the poor soul, ragged jacket too big for the bare-boned wearer. Jaari headed straight for that patron, a smile already smoothing over his face.

The patron turned and all air was swept from his lungs.

Long ago, he had been defiant. Beaten down, yes, but determined, feisty, a ball of fire raging against the sea he fought. He had held himself tall and mighty despite everything he struggled through. The world faced him head on and he met it with earth shattering rage. Anger always simmered in his eyes from long years of suffering against a world who hated him, and he hated right back. Long ago, he was passion incarnate.

The man that sat before him was a ghost of his former self.

Nesryn was wrecked.

His face was sunken, permanent bags settled under his eyes and wrinkles in places no man his age should have. Bruises littered his skin like little polka dots of color, vibrant and ugly. Jagged scars were scattered across his exposed midriff, some continuing to his covered chest. A few bandages hung from where they covered open wounds. His once proud shoulders now sunk, body slouched against the bar table. He was thin, terribly thin, and eyes devoid of the passion Jaari had so distinctly remembered.

He looked so... Defeated.

You could say Jaari continued walking towards Nesryn out of the kindness of his own heart, to save his closest friends’ dear brother. You could say it was out of pity. In all honesty, Jaari only continued because of the petty satisfaction of seeing his ex in a worse state than him. Petty.

Jaari sat beside him. It was so easy to, after all- Jaari was terrified of the man Nesryn used to be, a figure so foreign from this new form that Jaari was barely affected at all. For once, Jaari was the stronger one! He had nothing to fear, and it was so helplessly terrifying and amazing at the same time.

"It's been a while." Jaari brightly said, startling Nesryn out of his thoughts. Nesryn's empty eyes widened at the sight of Jaari, body freezing in time.

"Jaari?" Nesryn whispered. The poor man looked like he was seeing a ghost. He hesitated for a moment, hand desperately clutching the counter. "What are you doing here? No, wait, I-" coughs wracked Nesryn's body for a moment, and the bartender quietly took away Nesryn's other drinks, leaving him with the single whiskey he clung to. "That doesn't matter. I need to apologize."

Another difference. The old Nesryn never apologized.

Jaari nodded for Nesryn to continue.

"I..." The ice in Nesryn's last drink clinked softly as he swirled the liquid around, eyes downcast. "I treated you horribly. I let my anger out on you and refused to let you go." His body shook slightly as he laughed, a bitter smile curling on his face. "I even saw Biscoff as a threat, and he's harmless..."

I don't expect you to forgive me. I don't deserve it."

Jaari watched Nesryn with misty eyes. The memories of before would linger in Jaari's heart for as long as he lived, haunting his dreams whenever they could reach them. But Nesryn was no longer a tangent creature, no longer a constant imminent threat. The simple sight of him on this bitter night erased all traces of the real horror Jaari had created over the time spent after the break up.

He could never forgive the Nesryn from before, but maybe he could forgive this one.

"I forgive you." Jaari smiled kindly, his arm slowly wrapping around Nesryn's hunched figure. The taller boy was shaking horribly.

Nesryn shoved him away with weak arms, scowling. This wasn't right, and Nesryn wasn't falling for it. "Even after everything I've done? You lying bastard."

Slowly pulling his arm away, Jaari sighed. "I'm not lying. You've changed... And I'm sure, after some help from Biscoff and I, we can help you be happy again! We can all be happy..." He trailed off, his hand hesitantly reaching out for Nesryns.

Chuckling bitterly, Nesryn moved his free hand away from the table, out of reach from Jaari. Tricks could no longer fool him, and even the most forgiving of people could never act like this. "No. I don't need help trying to reach too far out of bounds. I've already given up." he grumbled, turning away. This was just a trick to make him slip up. Just another killer fueled by hatred out for his blood. "Just leave me alone."

Jaari's crestfallen face was only noticed by the bartender, who slipped him a water after a moment's thought. "What happened to you?" He whispered. The water was left unnoticed.

"I've learned my place in the world." Nesryn stood suddenly, turning to leave. He would not make himself out to be a fool! To be hated was one thing, but mocked... The tavern was silent.

Panic flooded Jaari's senses. "Wait!" He grabbed Nesryn's sleeve, clutching it like a lifeline. "Please come home. Biscoff misses you. We both miss you."

Realization hit Nesryn like a rock to a window. This was no act. somehow, that made everything worse.

_ He shouldn’t miss me. _

Frustration and disappointment flair across Nesryn’s face. Scowling, Nesryn shoved his grip away, bitter amusement rising through his smile. With his hands now free, he was able to rake them through his hair, disapproval clear in the turn of his lips. "You haven't changed."

"What?" Frozen, Jaari nervously glanced around, shivering under the gazes of the other patrons. Their intentions were not clear.

Nesryn's voice was surprisingly smooth and almost emotionless, never rising in volume. Unlike long ago, the timid anger that simmered in his chest stood dormant. Instead, his lips curled with thinly veiled disgust. "So naive.. Things aren't that simple." The words came out snarling.

Naive was certainly one way to describe it. The things Nesryn has done and said... The guilt of it all still hung over his head and threatened to suffocate him, and yet the fool forgave it all in a single second? Without any proof of improvement? The sheer stupidity drove Nesryn insane. Why does an idiot like Jaari get to continue on with his life without on inch of suffering? Why is Nesryn the only condemned?

It wasn't fair.  _ It wasn't fair. _

"But-"

"Are you still trying to fulfill your desire for love?" With a simple tilt of his head, Nesryn had gained the full attention of everyone. A few patrons grabbed their knives. "So desperate, you take anything you can get? Without taking anyone else into consideration?" He scoffed, rubbing his temples. "But then, you weren't even aware of what you were doing... Pushing others away. Pushed Biscoff away-"

"No! I didn't!" Tears gathered in Jaari's eyes.

"He was so alone, Jaari. What did you do when you met me? Did you ever notice how often he sat on the sidelines?" The only expression on Nesryn’s face was a tight lipped smile. He meant no harm. The poor boy deserved the truth, didn't he?

Jaari scrubbed furiously at the streams of tears that dripped down his cheeks, waving away the patrons that began to stand. "I... I didn't mean to!"

"I know." The honesty in Nesryn's tone startled Jaari into silence. "You never mean to." He shook his head, like a mother to her child. 

Despite his words, Nesryn was not fueled by hate. Not anymore. Telling Jaari this gave him nothing. Just… Bitterness, ugly, cold grief.

The patrons began to hustle protectively around Jaari.

Backing away towards the door, tears finally pricked at the corner of Nesryn's eyes. This wasn't fair- why did he now have to face someone who had what he didn't, just when he had succumbed to his fate? He had accepted it!

Why did fate hate him so much for being alive?

"You did the same thing to me, Jaari!" Nesryn was sobbing now, but the scraps of pride he still had kept him from breaking down completely, only allowing the constant stream of bitter remorse to pour from his eyes. "You loved my looks, the idea of love, but gave no care to who I really was! At least I know what I did was wrong!" He was not his father, nor his mother, but someone much, much worse. A demon in human form. Why else was he abandoned by the two who brought him into existence? Why else was he given such a curse? Why else did his brother hate him, why else was he forced to still exist….

Jaari stood silently in between the other patrons, tears still falling from his blurry eyes. How dare he? Nesryn was crumbling in front of him, and yet he paid no heed? No words for the guilty?

"You were not completely innocent and you still have no idea what you've done!" Nesryn said it as if he was any better. "I hurt you." lungs trembling, he took in a breath- he had admitted it so many times and yet it hurt just as much as the first.

"But you ignored everything I was.” And for just a moment, he felt just as powerful has he had long before- maybe it was uttering the cheesy line that could come straight from some low-budget film, or just how much it took out of him to admit it. 

Jaari was shaking like a leaf in a thunderstorm, hesitant around the patrons who crowded him. No clear recognition passed by his face- no glance of realization. No, Jaari didn't have his wake up moment, not until long after Nesryn had left. That kind of thing only happens in fairy tales. Nesryn wasn't allowed that kind of satisfaction.

A large man approached Nesryn, discontempt blatant on his face. Probably the bartender or something. "That's enough. Leave the boy alone."

Nesryn laughed, hollow and broken. Tears clung to his lashes, but he wasn't crying anymore. "Guess I sleep in the woods tonight. I should have expected it..." He should have known something would come to destroy his only chance at a warm bed. Of course.

The doors to the bar slammed behind him.

~

_ One… Two… Three… Four…  _

_ In, out. In, out. _

_ The needle moved through his skin with nauseating ease. In, out.. _

_ Biscoff was careful not to hurt Nesryn anymore than he had to. He never wanted to resort to simple needle and thread on his brother, but father had been brutal today… _

_ Despite the pain of the thread pulling through his skin, Nesryn only whimpered softly. Sitting on Biscoff’s lap, he seemed terribly small- strange, since he was the elder of the two… _

_ In, out… Done! Biscoff tied the end of the thread before breaking it with his teeth. _

_ Body slowly relaxing after that terrifying moment, Nesryn leaned back and was content to let Biscoff finish cleaning him up, bandaging his cuts and scrapes. He didn’t dare pick on his wounds, no matter how much he wanted to. _

_ Biscoff gave Nesryn’s shoulders a little pat to signify he was done, but Nesryn didn't move, content to cuddle for now. _

_ Nesryn fell asleep with Biscoff’s hand in his hair.  _

_ ~ _

Biscoff was missing when Jaari finally arrived at the capital. Fitting, that the person he needed the most was gone in his hour of need. Instead of curling up and crying in Biscoff's arms like he wanted, he trudged into his and Raitas' apartment, cheeks still stained with tears. 

The hug he got from Raitas felt so much emptier.

"What happened?" Raitas pulled away, checking for wounds. Jaari's dazed face didn't run unnoticed, but they were too concerned with Jaari being hurt for them to care.

Jaari pushed their wandering arms away and pulled them close, desperate eyes searching theirs. "Please kiss me."

Confusion fluttered in Raitas' chest, shocking him still. "Huh?"

"It hurts." Tears spilled down Jaari's cheeks again as his lip trembled. "It hurts so much. Kiss it better. Don’t you love me?"

"I.." Raitas pulled away, a faint blush crossing their cheeks. "I’m not in the mood-"

Jaari growled weakly, shoving Raitas away with a weak glare. "You never are!" With wide, innocent eyes, Jaari wrapped his arms around himself and looked Raitas in the eye. "Do you even love me?"

Brows furrowed, Raitas thought of what they had seen before. "Do you?" They were in no way accusatory. Instead, they looked down at Jaari with curiosity.

"Of course I do!" Jaari responded, confused when Raitas just smiled and spread their arms out wide.

"It's okay, Jaari. Come here." Their kind eyes were flames to Jaari, pulling him in. As if they already knew the answer Jaari himself couldn't figure out himself.

Slowly, Jaari settled into a hug, hiding his face in their chest. The Realization from before was still sinking in bit by bit, and he was tired of it. "I can't do this anymore..."

Raitas thought for a moment, absentmindedly petting Jaari's hair. "You don't have to."

What could that possibly mean? "Are you-"

"We aren't working, Jaari. Whatever's between us isn't love, and it doesn't matter how you say it, that will never change." Despite the broken look on Jaari's face, they kept going. "I've treated you like a friend since the beginning. Maybe it's best if we..." They trailed off. Silence filled the apartment for a moment.

Jaari finally broke the silence, pulling away from the hug with a sigh. "You're right..." Wiping his tears away, Jaari found his cheeks heating from embarrassment. "I'm sorry." Other past mistakes floated into Jaari's head but he ignored it furiously.

Laughing softly, Raitas led them both to the living room. "It's okay! It's probably better this way anyway- I'm not super reliable, you know. And besides..." They sit down and urge Jaari for follow suit, focus lightening their usually-slack body. "I've been thinking, and I don't think... I don't think I feel attraction or love like you do."

"What..." Confused, Jaari glanced down at his hands before turning back to Raitas. "What does that mean?"

"I couldn't give you what you wanted." Hesitating, they wrung their hands to try and hide the trembles. "It wasn't like I didn't like you or anything! I just didn't like you in the ways you wanted. And, uh..." They looked away. "I don't think I like anyone in those ways."

Gripping onto the couch armrest, question marks practically floated around Jaari's head. "What... What kind of ways?" What trait did Jaari have that everyone has?

Oh, Raitas was red now, the blush spreading to their ears. Not really from the admittance, but because of how long it took them to figure it all out. "Well, uh... Sex. And that stuff. And kissing. And like, dates, and uh-" 

"Okay, that's enough, calm down!" Jaari laughed softly, eyes softening. "I get what your saying." he patted Raitas on the back and added, "Thank you for telling me."

They just nodded in response, face hidden behind their hands. 

In an attempt to settle the awkwardness Jaari took a glance around the room and immediately realized something kind of important. "Can we, uh... Even though we aren’t dating now, can we still live together?" Very important, because on answer may result in a homeless Jaari.

"Of course! Nothing's changed, Jaari. We can still cuddle and stuff. All that's changed is that now you can chase the heart of that Vigilante without feeling guilty or whatever." They were cheerful when they said it, a smile on their face, but the words were still a blow into Jaari's gut that left him sputtering in the dust.

"Oh... Yeah."

Vigilante…


	7. The End of the Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Biscoff has a strange dream, Jaari finally realizes a few things, and Raitas is pretty much here for the ride.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh man its been a while oof  
Enjoy!

_ The unrecognizable city streets surrounded Biscoff, a cacophony of sounds startling him into sitting up. The buildings were various grays, litter scattered on the ground, skies dark and people quite grumpy, all contributing to the bleakness of his surroundings. This little town was so completely different from what Biscoff had seen before that for a moment, he wondered if he was dreaming. He pinched himself and felt no pain- ah, so he was dreaming. But everything felt so real... _

_ A young couple came into view, nicely dressed in what had to be expensive coats and jewels. The man held a finely crafted cane in his soft, worriless hands, while the woman held a constant smirk upon her plump, ruby-stained lips. Biscoff looked upon himself in the reflection of their jewels- he was not himself, but a raggedy old man, a cup of measly change held in his cracked fingers. He sat upon a blanket with his only belongings beside him. Biscoff sat for a moment and stared at the couple, curiosity soon leading to realization- this couple looked so similar. Was this really a dream...? _

_ The couple almost passed by, but seemed to notice Biscoff's old weathered state and decided to stop in front of him. _

_ "Oh, darling, look at this little stain!" the woman laughed, kicking Biscoff with the heel of her boot. "Worthless little thing, isn't it?" _

_ The man was much colder in his stance, and gave Biscoff a hard hit with his cane. "Yes. Quite a nasty little blemish on this beautiful city. I'll try to talk to the mayor and get him removed." _

_ Giggling, the woman stamped Biscoff in the stomach and smiled wider at his little whimper of pain. "Maybe we should save the mayor the trouble. I would hate to dirty my hands, but it's much too fun to miss out on. Maybe we could hire someone to do it for us?" _

_ "A waste of money for something I could do myself. To keep my hands clean, though..." The man lightly tugged his wife away from Biscoff and used his cane to push Biscoff into the ground. _

_ To Bischoff's surprise, his own withered body rose to a staggering height. He shifted from the body of an old man to the form of a young woman who's eyes glimmered as bright as the full moon. Her nimble hand stretched out to point at the now fearful couple, as everyone knows the great witch Ivja. Somehow, Biscoff knew her too. _

_ "You both have made a grave mistake." his voice was a soothing summer rain shower and a thunderous hurricane all wrapped up in one silky bow. Feminine in the slightest of ways. _

_ "Rijavi and Eviri Chalaera... Your actions have proven your wicked behavior to be true. May your hateful hearts be seen from everyone who lay their eyes on your horrid forms! May you and your children be despised for eternity!"  _

His eyes opened to a canopy of green, the gentle whistle of the wind caressing his ears. Sitting up slowly, Biscoff realised he was still in the grotto. He felt something strange.. Something was coming to an end. 

Something...

"That wasn't a dream." He told the trees, and they responded with rustling leaves. They could not speak, and yet he understood, the gentle nudge towards something new and exciting. "You know where she is. Could you show me the way?" The trees bent ever so slightly upon his request, forming a path only Biscoff could pick out.

He gave a nod of silent thanks and began his journey, leaving behind the few items he owned. 

The farther he walked, the more he heard. The soft chatters of the trees entered his head, doe came to feed from his hand, bunnies followed for a while to keep him company. Each day, he laid gifts on stumps to the local residents, often man-made things the residents could never get. On the first day, he received edible mushrooms and sweet berries in return. On the second day, a raven brought him little wooden buttons she had found on her travels. On the third day, he spotted what he believed to be a pixie hiding in the bushes beside him. On the fourth, he was feeding said pixie little sweets from the city.

This little pixie joined him for the day despite not being able to really speak to him. The pixie instead munched on his food supplies while resting on Biscoff’s shoulder. Poor little pixie had to leave on the fifth day after being frightened away by the merfolk when he stopped at the river to drink. Instead, a little mer child followed him as he traveled along the river, tossing him trinkets and semiprecious stones. When Biscoff awoke on the sixth day, the mer child was gone, half of his candies were gone, and placed in their stead was a glowing blue amulet.

His sixth day was his last day of travel. That morning, as he fumbled with the amulet, he glanced to the trees and saw the peaking heads of dryads as they fused into trees at the break of dawn. It was beautiful, and suddenly he felt so much... Less than that. He left a gift for the dryads before washing in the river, cleaning the weeks worth of dirt off his bare feet. To his surprise, merfolk came again to gift him soaps and jewels to wear- seemed like everyone wanted him to look good in front of the witch.

He returned to land to see one last dryad still out in the open, waiting. They seemed to be holding nothing, and they drape this nothing over Biscoff's head. Biscoff, ever so polite, accepted the strange gift with a nod and followed the dryad deeper into the forest.

Everything felt so wonderful strange. He was seeing so much more than he ever had before… He felt more at peace than he ever had at home. Was something different with these woods? Was something different with himself? He felt... Lighter. Connected. In tune. With what song, he didn't know...

The dryad stopped, pulling Biscoff from his thoughts. They had arrived at a small hut nestled into the uncarved curve of a vine tree, the body of the tree having grown around the front of the hut in an unnaturally natural fashion. The dryad fused with the vine tree, and Biscoff was left to his own devices.

Biscoff knocked. The door opened, with no one on the other side. He entered.

The room is cluttered and small, containing a single table and a multitude of shelves covered in an assortment of items. Potions, ingredients, plants and fibers, even a few books could be found. On the table was a potion in the making, but the witch was not at work- she soon emerged from the door on the far side of the room, looking much older than she had in his dream.

She smiled at the sight of him. "Ah, silent giant! I've been expecting you. Come, sit, I'll get you some tea.." As she headed back into the other room, all Biscoff could do was sit on of the very small and slightly uncomfortable chairs. She entered the room again with a small tray of tea and a mirror.

Handing the mirror to him, she shoved the clutter on the desk aside and set the tray down. "You seem to have gotten a new look, hm?"

Biscoff wordlessly looked at himself in the mirror to see massive antlers attached to his head. Soft silk draped beautifully from the branch-like structure, with flowers tied around certain knobs. Even a few butterflies sat upon the tips. Biscoff used his free hand to reach up and touch the antlers, but his hands passed through them. Setting down the mirror and calmly taking a teacup from the tray, Biscoff gave the witch a puzzled look.

"Well, you can't expect it to manifest physically so quickly. Don't be so impatient." She giggled, waving the butterflies away before sitting down herself.

Shaking his head, Biscoff took a small sip of the tea and found himself smiling. It tasted nice. "I had a dream. Did you give it to me?"

The witch raised an eyebrow. "Oh, heavens no! I wish I could. The forest gave you the dream, dear. The forest knows all." She smiled mischievously and started to sort through the clutter on the table, ignoring her own tea. "I am not a mind reader either, silent giant. Tell me your thoughts so I may guide you."

"The dream..." Biscoff coughed, rubbing his throat. He still felt the silk of the voice from before. "I saw you and my brother's parents. You cursed them. Can you remove the curse?"

The witch made a little 'oh' sound before standing up, already moving to look through her things. "Why?"

There was lots of things Biscoff could've said. He settled on the simplest. "He's not happy. I want him to be happy."

"But he has hurt you, hasn't he?" The witch gave Biscoff a knowing look, a little giggle almost escaping her lips.

"He has." Biscoff was confused. Why did that matter? "I've hurt him as well. He didn't want to hurt anyone."

"Are you so sure about that, silent giant?" the witch moved to stand behind him, bony fingers petting his head. "There have been times when he has said things purely to hurt you."

Biscoff sighed, taking another sip. She wasn't doing this to be mean, he reminded himself- she wasn't being mean. She couldn't. "I know, but... The curse has just.. Taken a toll on him." All this talking was hurting his throat.

The witch hummed, giving Biscoff a final pat before pulling him to stand. She turned him so he would face her as she gripped his cheeks in weathered hands. "I see..." humming, the witch turned his head a little, taking in each and every blemish. "Do you love your brother?"

Biscoff nodded, forcing himself to not shy away from her hands. They were warm, thankfully.

"You love so purely, silent giant. Your friends and family are not the only fools." She sighed, as if this was inevitable. Biscoff could only nod again. "Well, I suppose a man loved so purely by someone such as yourself deserves another chance. You have seen his parent's actions, correct? Can you testify your brother's betterness?"

"Yes." Biscoff offered no explanation and the witch was left unsatisfied.

She scanned his face fully, taking in every hint of emotion. "You understand his failure will fall upon you to burden? All you have gained will be lost."

Taking a deep breath, Biscoff nodded once more, not one hint of doubt visible on his face. "I know."

The witch was now mostly satisfied, grinning so proudly. She turned to a shelf and plucked a blue potion from behind all the others, covered in dust. "Then give this to your brother to drink, and he shall be free." she carefully wiped the bottle off and placed it in Biscoff's waiting hands, a smirk slowly curling her lips. "Take good care of yourself, silent giant. Our friends will lead you home."

Biscoff nodded for the final time, bowing his head before leaving. He heard her laughter follow him even when the hut was out of sight.

Returning to the city was strange.

Everything around him felt... Off. He had gotten so in tune with the forest during those few days, Biscoff would never really feel the same in a city again. There weren't enough trees, the stone beneath his bare feet felt strange, the normal daily chatter so loud to his ears. Still, the sight of Jaari waiting at the inner city gates was a welcome sight. Despite everything, Jaari was his friend, and he missed him dearly.

"Biscoff! I'm so glad you're back, so much has happened..." His friend's excited chatter slowly lulled Biscoff back into security, allowing him to relax his body and follow his friend back to his apartment.

Alas, all good things must come to an end.

Jaari waited until they arrived home to tell Biscoff- got him nice and cozy, wrapped in a soft blanket with hot tea in his calloused hands while Raitas turned up their gentle music. Security, false and yet it felt so real…

"I met Nesryn."

The words stabbed Biscoff deep into his heart and he couldn't breathe, words tumbling out of his mouth for the first time in his life. "Where is he? Is he safe? Did you bring him home? Can I see him? Is he okay?" Worry silenced him as Jaari failed to answer quick enough.

Jaari seemed... Hesitant. "He looked a little rough... And I think he left where he was, so we won't find him. It was a few days ago as well, and, um... He refused to come back. I'm sorry, Biscoff, I tried-"

A sob tore from Biscoff's throat, the loudest thing to ever come from his mouth. Nothing had ever hurt this much. Why did it hurt? Why did he care? Why would Nesryn ever break his promise, he promised-

His body crumpled in on itself, hot chocolate abandoned on the coffee table. Shaking furiously, he barely heard the voices of Raitas and Jaari, everything ghosting over his body like wind to a tree. He only shook more with every word, terror flooding his senses because what if Nesryn hated him? What if Nesryn despised them so much he refused to ever come back- to never see their faces again.

He can't handle it. He can't breathe. He can't breathe...

_ "What's wrong, baby bro? Some forest nymph pick on you again or something?" _

_ Biscoff was only five, crawling into his brother's arms. He was sobbing uncontrollably into Nesryn's shirt, clutching at him desperately. They were in the basement this time. _

_ Nesryn could only sigh and gently rub his brother's back. "Who do I need to beat up?" _

_ His little brother violently shook his head, looking up pleadingly at Nesryn. "Daddy said mean things to you... I'm scared..." _

_ Nesryn softened, giving Biscoff's fluffy hair a little pat. "Aw, Boffy, you know they would never hurt you. You're completely safe." _

_ "But they hurt you!" Biscoff's little hands gave Nesryn's chest a little punch, childish frustration clear in his little baby eyes. "I don't want them to hurt you." _

_ "Hey, hey.." Nesryn reassured, giving Biscoff a light bounce as he sat up completely. "It's gonna be okay, I promise. Everything will be fine." _

_ Doe eyes looked up to him, terrified and gullible. "Promise you won't leave me. Never. Not with daddy, or momma, or anybody." His little baby heart cried safety at the sight of Nesryn, and he knew it would never change. His brother was safety, his brother was love, his brother was hope. _

_ Smiling as reassuring as possible, Nesryn gave his little brother a great big hug. "I promise, Biscoff. I promise." _

_ You promised. _

Life is merciless, and it continues on.

Biscoff returned to the forest to take a well needed break, and Vigilante was back on the streets- Jaari tried his best to attract Vigilante's attention but never received it, only spotting glances of the hero doing his work. So, he decided to take a more direct approach.

Vigilante found him hand-deep in a local businessman's safe. Of course, stealing wasn't his goal- his hands immediately pulled away at the sight of Vigilante (wearing a slightly different mask this time), but instead of looking scared, he grinned.

"I'm glad you noticed, Vigilante! I've been needing to tell you something, but I could never catch you... Until now." Jaari seemed eager, standing quickly to face Vigilante completely. "I had a talk with Raitas about everything, and... We've decided to break up. Things weren't working out, and I..." He paused, glancing away shyly. He didn't notice the panic that rose through Vigilante the moment Jaari began to speak.

Eyes wide and so innocent, anyone who didn't know him would say Jaari was the purest in the world. Jaari looked even more so now, the pinnacle of purity gracing his face. "I want to try and build something new. With you. Do you still..." So earnest, so hopeful...

Jaari finally lifted his head, surprised to find Vigilante so distraught. Vigilante was the one who liked him so much! Shouldn't he be happy about this? Everything was going to be better now! Everyone would get what they want!

"No." Vigilante's words were as cold as the winter breeze.

The chill spread throughout Jaari's bones, reaching his heart with a shiver. "What? What do you mean, no?"

"I mean no!" Vigilante stepped away, emotions unreadable behind the goddamn mask. Oh, how Jaari wanted to snap it to pieces. "You made your choice that day."

Shaking his head, Jaari stepped closer. "Give me another chance, then! If you listen you'll understand, everything will be okay-" just as Jaari reached out, Vigilante bolted to the balcony, jumping down to the nearest street. Determined, Jaari followed.

He knew he would catch Vigilante eventually- Jaari was an excellent runner, after all.

Catching up to Vigilante was the easy part, taking him down was harder. Luckily, Vigilante was weak in his emotional state, and went crashing down with Jaari's first jump tackle. Vigilante's body crashes into the stone ground.

The mask took most of the force. This managed to keep poor Vigilante from any lasting wounds, but the mask...

Shattered into pieces right in front of him, Vigilante could only stare in horror.

And Jaari? Well, Jaari was just as horrified. The man he held down to the ground was so limp he was practically lifeless. The man whose face of terror gazed up at him, a face so familiar...

"Biscoff?"

Vigilante- no, Biscoff, was crying, struggling weakly to get out from under Jaari. As if he didn't want to hurt Jaari. 

"Please. Jaari..." Biscoff's voice was so broken, Jaari found his heart shattering then and there. 

He's made a mistake.

"I..." Jaari teared up as well while realization haunted his body with terrible intentions, his shaking hands clinging tightly to Biscoff's coat. "I'm so sorry... I didn't..." He doesn't get anymore time to speak, as Biscoff successfully untangled himself from Jaari's weak grasp. He was gone in seconds, disappearing into the forest he came from weeks before.

He ruined everything.

Biscoff stumbled into the forest covered with scrapes and with tears streaming from his eyes. The dryads sprung to action, shielding his body with their canopy, the little pixies leading him further into the forest. They stopped their travel at the river, where the merfolk dried his tears and bandaged his little wounds, little kisses on his forehead making him giggle quietly. 

He never stopped crying, even when the pixies led him to a larger tree- the inside of it was empty and the perfect size for Biscoff to nestle in. That's exactly what he did, and he couldn't help but smile when a doe trotted to his side with a blanket in its mouth. Biscoff took the gift and wrapped the soft fabric around himself, teary eyes widening with wonder as the tree slowly closed the gap that allowed Biscoff to enter the little spot. He was completely hidden from everything- secure. Safe. 

It felt so familiar and the ache of it only made him cry harder.

"I made a mistake."

Those were Jaari's first words upon entry into his apartment, startling Raitas away from the book they had been reading. Raitas sat up after digesting the spoken words, simply gesturing for Jaari to come sit.

They listened quietly as Jaari explained. Explained, well, everything that has happened up to this point- the befores, the afters, the things in between… As Jaari spoke, only then did he realize the volume of his actions- only then did everything become clear in his head. Only then did he understand what Nesryn meant, the impact of his actions...

When Jaari stopped talking, Raitas spoke.

"Do you understand everything?"

Jaari shook his head, furiously wiping away tears. "No! I don't... Does this mean Biscoff likes me? I don't even know if I like him back! And he's..." Biscoff was just so... Well. Biscoff.

"Think of Vigilante. His looks, his voice, his attitude What do you feel?"

Hot, bothered, faint. Wobbly.

Despite the fact that Jaari said nothing aloud, Raitas grinned knowingly. "And Biscoff?"

That feeling... Warm. And safe. And something he couldn't name, something he always ignored, something... Oops.

"But..." Jaari shook his head once more, bottom lip wobbling like a child. "After everything I've done, he probably hates me!" Well, he hasn't done much- well- okay. Maybe he's made a few mistakes.

Raitas hummed, shrugging slightly. "Well, he liked you enough even after you dated Nesryn. Why else would he become Vigilante, then?"

Baby doll eyes looked up at Raitas' little grin. "You think he..."

"Oh, I know he did. I may not feel attraction, but I've read enough novels to figure out where this was going." Raitas gave Jaari a little nudge on the shoulder. "Go to him."

Jaari ran with every bit of energy kept in his entire body, his eyes trained on the forest Biscoff had disappeared in. He paused at the outskirts, hesitant to step foot inside- he had fears of how the forest would react. However, his fears were proved unnecessary as the trees bent a little more obviously than they did for Biscoff on his journey to the witch, instead making a clearly visible path for Jaari to follow. As he ran, he felt eyes digging holes into his head, but he was okay with that. The forest had a right to be suspicious of him. 

The forest led him to a tree just like the others, albeit a tad bit larger. Jaari found it quite strange until he heard crying coming from the tree, and realization sunk into his body like the dead of winter's chill. Oh, shit. Everything came to Jaari all at once- his mind, for the first time, placed himself in someone else's shoes, and he was having quite the reaction to it. 

"Biscoff..." Jaari was hesitant in his movements, approaching the tree with caution he didn't realize he had. His hand rested upon the bark and he felt a chill, so strange... His body crumpled all at once, muscles giving out. Leaning against the tree to at least keep himself sitting, Jaari choked on tears he didn't realize were falling until they fell into his lips. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry..." 

No response. Jaari continued anyway, determined to somehow fix things. If he could. 

"I hurt you so much... I'm so stupid. I just wanted to..." He paused. The foolishness of his current actions dawned on him, and he struggled to stand, pulling away. Biscoff deserved better, not him, not this-

"I'll leave you alone now. I'm sorry for bothering you..." He pushed away from the tree, ready to head home and cry for a long while.

The entire forest was quiet. Not even a breeze interrupted the stillness.

"Wait..."

A small, hoarse voice echoed out from the tree, magnified by whatever magic commanded this place. Jaari immediately stopped, turning to face the tree once more. A little to the left of his heart was a tiny inch of hope.

"I want an explanation. Please." Biscoff's voice was meek but oh so welcome, forcing Jaari back to his knees in front of the tree. He couldn't help but sigh in relief. With a hand settled against the trunk, Jaari spoke.

"I... I don't know how to explain it. I was so confused... I still am. I saw you and I was happy, but I thought... That it was just friendship. I never looked into it, and I should have, I should have done something..." he paused, only to catch his breath, and found himself letting out a sob. "But I just brushed you off, for your brother! I never realized how awful I must have been... I fell for some random person on the street!"

Jaari's voice quieted, barely above a whisper now. "You... You tried to make me happy... Even though I didn't love you back, you never acted entitled, never demanded anything... And I still didn't choose you, despite loving you the entire time!" It was clear in his voice that he only realized some of these things as he spoke them aloud. 

He was blabbering now, taking in sharp breaths every so word. The hand on the bark never left, even when the rest of his body crumpled against the trunk. 

"I'm so selfish, and horrible, and I... I cheated on Raitas with you! I mean, kind of." Jaari shook his head violently,. "No! I did! And that wasn't fair to either of you. Even if Raitas doesn't feel love the same way I do, we still had a connection, and I broke that. And I dismissed you... I...." Okay, maybe he's being a little dramatic, but Jaari's always been dramatic and he's not about to stop now.

"You're so wonderful. I never told you, right? How amazing you are. You're so kind, and caring, and soft and sweet and just... Amazing. You've been so nice to me... You deserve better. You deserve to find your brother and find an amazing man who can take care of you so much better than I can and he'll love you and he'll be so kind..."

Suddenly, Jaari's hand felt warmth encircle it. He lifted his head up to stare blankly at the hole in the trunk, where Biscoff's outstretched hand held his own.

"We're the same." Biscoff whispered, puffy eyes slowly moving away from their hiding spot to look over at Jaari.

Blinking furiously, every brain cell in Jaari's brain stopped working. "Huh?"

"Just want love."

Jaari started crying again, clutching tightly onto Biscoff's hand as if it was the last thing in the world, apologies spilling from his lips. Holy fuck that was so cute. Holy shit. Who the fuck says that. 

The forest was now calm- satisfied, the pixies flew home, dryads settled into the trees once more, merfolk diving back under the water. And so, the chaos subsides for now.

Jaari and Biscoff arrived at the apartment looking absolutely horrible, but the tired smiles on their faces reassured Raitas enough to put the chair down. They talked- they talked for too long, in Biscoff's opinion, but the talk was desperately needed and ended with Biscoff unofficially moving into the apartment. 

He still slept in the forest half the time, but the other half was spent curled around Jaari on the couch while his stuff was safely stashed away in his new special corner of the living room. The apartment was only a one bedroom, but soon after the day they dubbed "tree day", the trio decided to move back into Jaari's old home, left abandoned after his parent's death the year before.

Moving day was awful. Awful as in Jaari kept dropping things, and Raitas laughed when Jaari dropped something and then dropped something as well, and eventually Biscoff had to place them in the corner to calm down while he finished bringing everything into the house. Decorating went much better, as Raitas convinced the two to leave and let them do the work. The two decided to grab ice cream to celebrate, and the end of the day was marked with giggling over strawberry ice cream in a nicely decorated kitchen.

Biscoff and Jaari's relationship moved at a snail's pace, exactly how they wanted it to move. For now, they were content to snuggle and banter and slowly regain their close relationship. It was hard, but it was worth every second. It felt so... Nice. Everything felt good. Raitas was happy being surrounded with people they loved dearly, platonically- even happier to know that it was all they expected from them. Jaari was finally getting the exact attention he had craved for so long- he only wished he realized sooner that Biscoff was the one who could give it to him. Biscoff was just content now that everyone else was happy, but being able to cuddle with Jaari in the middle of the grotto was a nice touch.

Everything was good. Not perfect, but... Good.

It was group cuddle night when they heard it- over the soft music Raitas had set up, the faintest of sounds... A knock on their front door. Biscoff was the one to stand and approach the door, ever so courteous...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess what boys there's a sequel a coming  
we meet new boys  
and some fun things happen  
;)  
Can you believe biscoff is really just baby  
I love y'all thank u for joining me in this wild ride of s story

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if the setting seems a little vague: if you want to know, it takes place in the northern kingdom of an island called Sulo. There are gods for this universe, but since none of the characters are really that religious, I won't worry about explaining the intricacies of their faith. If you want more back story into the setting, just ask! It's been all formulated, its just not that important to the story itself.
> 
> Biscoff is a baby and he becomes babier


End file.
